the Marvelous Misadventures of Mrs. t

Running with Abandon

2012-02-17T08:32:00.002-08:00

I’m usually a planner. I like to know what’s going on, when, where, how… you get the point. I tend to think about something before I do it. ‘If I do X, then Y may happen, and if so, Z…but what if I do Z and Y happens? Then I’ll say X’ and so forth and so on. It is rare that I charge into a situation without a plan.

It’s happened twice in my life. Once was the night that two dogs attacked my cat, Gracie. I was sitting in the front room of our old house and heard some commotion. Knowing my kitty was outside, I glanced out the window and saw them fighting. I flew out the door, through the yard, across the street, and into the neighbor’s yard in nothing but a t-shirt and some undies. Looking back that was pretty stupid for a plethora of reasons. I could have cut my feet on something in the road or hidden in the grass. The dogs could have turned on me, or worst of all, some people could have seen just what Victoria’s secret was all about. But I didn’t think about any of that at the time. I just thought about my kitty who needed me. I’m sorry to say that she died two days later from her injuries. But I tried.

The next time that I literally went charging in was just a few days ago. The alligator that lives in our pond was heading right for the ducks that live in our pond and well, I wasn’t interested in hosting some National Geographic episode in my backyard. I ran toward all of them, totally prepared to throw myself into the water if the ducks didn’t fly away, which fortunately, they did. I don’t think I even need to point out all of the reasons why that was a bad idea.

Now while I am in agreement that these were both really careless ways to behave, I can’t help but yearn for that feeling of complete and total abandon. Looking only ahead, plowing forward at full-steam, tunnel vision for your goal and your goal alone. To be free of society’s expectations, life’s worries and heartaches would take away the fear that holds all of us back. While I can’t live like that, I can sure as hell write like that. And I will. Using adverbs as I please, starting and ending sentences with prepositions, and going crazy with the dialogue because that’s what’s really in my heart.

In memory of Gracie Trujillo2008-2009

Expendable

2012-02-05T15:45:00.000-08:00

My friend Monique went to a psychic, the same one who told me my books would be published as a matter of fact, and she was told that she ‘wasn’t from here.’ As in, this was her first time on this earth. Sometimes, I feel like that. Like, I don’t belong here. There are days when I feel like my soul is the pocket of a comfy coat with a hole in it. Nice and together on the outside, incomplete and inherently flawed on the inside. I daydream about being stopped on the street by a psychic and them saying, ‘Hey, this dream you have…don’t give up. This writing thing, it’s for real.” But who knows, maybe that’s not the case and maybe I have nothing to say that’s worth being said.

If you hold your hands in a tight fist in front of your body you will see the mind and soul of the majority of the population. Safe, secure, generally together. And the best part is that this is fine for them. They don’t need and/or want anything more. Now, untangle your hands and pull them back into a large circle, stretching your fingers as wide as they’ll go. That’s me. I’m…more. Everything is more for me. I feel more, see more, love more, hate more, hurt more, and want more. I want enough hours in the day to write proposals, be a mom and a wife, and still have time to be me. As it is, one of those will have to go. Guess who the only expendable one on that list is? Yep. Me.

Blogfest Contest with Agent Ammi-Joan Paquette!

2012-01-16T17:53:00.000-08:00

Title: FireFlys
Genre: YA Paranormal
Word Count: 65,000

Pitch: I knew that losing my dad and moving to MiddleOfNowhere, GA would change my life. What I didn't know was how much it would change my heart.

I often think of that summer. When the sun hits the trees just right or the sound of a whippoorwill floats to me on an evening breeze, the memories come flooding back like the Saint Mary’s river after a hard rain. Even after all these years, now that I have children of my own, my memories of those long, hot days are more vivid and clear than they should be. I think they’ll always be with me, reverberating in every movement I make and for that, I am glad.

It’s time to share my story, that’s why I’m writing it down now. Maybe I’ll read it to my girls; maybe I’ll just save it for my own eyes on nights when I can’t sleep. Either way, I’ve started. And there’s no turning back now. Is this a true story? I’ll leave that for you to decide but I can tell you this; it is, without doubt, the story of the summer that I lost my dad and somehow, managed to find myself.

2011 - Year in Review

2012-01-07T07:21:00.000-08:00

On the whole, I would say 2011 was…ehh. The mixture of bad
and good blended together like my Granny’s sauce and meatballs so they became an interchangeable dish of…ehh. I’ll break it down like this. Low point – husband losing his job and the threat of losing our house (which is still very real). High point – tie between getting promoted to a writer position at my day job and publishing my fourth novel, True North. There were lots of bumps and bruises along the way. A few fits of joy and moments of bliss, but they were always peppered with…ehh.

I’m looking forward to 2012. I’m releasing a book under a pen name. It’s an adult book and I don’t want my YA readers to search for me and get a little surprise so I thought it best to separate myself from it a bit. It will be out it March(ish). I’m also really moving forward at work, which is honestly more than I’d hoped for. I’m currently working on some content for our IT staffing brand and hope to present it soon. You know me; it’s a little…different. If they like it and start to use it in the proposal responses, I think that could be the last push I need to do away with the ‘Jr.’ in front of my title. I keep telling them, “I will write, so you might as well let me write your shit.” ;) I’ve got three YA projects in progress. FireFlys, True North #2, and The Lady, The Lake, and The Locket. By April I’ll make a decision on which one I’ll finish this year. I’m still undecided. Who knows if any of them will ever be published?

My main goal is still to be in print (though I did have an article published in a local paper here) and I won’t give up on that. All I can do is my best. Polish my MS to a pristine manner (i.e. have Courtney edit it! LoL) and hope someone sees the potential in the never-ending array of fictional characters that fight for attention in my head. No, I’m not crazy. That is very normal for a writer.

To all of you I say:

1) Thank you. Thank you for reading, thank you for encouraging, thank you for being my friends. My Twitter family: I love you all. Book Bloggers, what can I say? What little success I’ve had is because of all of you. When I’m all famous and stuff, I’m soooo taking all of you with me. Might I add, I hope everyone knows that I love honesty. I love to hear if you think my stuff sucks, because that’s one of the ways I move forward in my writing; hearing your opinions and suggestions. In short, to me, there is no such thing as a bad review.

2) Please don’t give up on me. I’m getting better every day. I’m working hard to master my craft so that one day you’ll read something I’ve written and feel that twinge in your heart that you feel when you’ve read something that has truly touched you. And finally,

3) Don’t forget to believe. Believe in yourself, believe in your dreams. Believe in your family, your friends. Whatever it is that you’re doing, do it 100% because if you don’t, then what the hell is the point of doing it at all? I wish you all a healthy, happy, and prosperous new year.

True North; pages 42-46

2011-12-23T14:33:00.000-08:00

This is one of my favorite parts of the book. Sahar and Cameron have their first big fight and we meet Dean, who, if I'm being honest, is my favorite character of all. ;)

“Cameron,” I called to him, “Cameron, hey wait up!” His pace never slowed and I had to run full sprint to catch up to him. My calls must have been lost in the wind and that was why he didn’t wait for me. It had to be.

He stopped and spun around, reaching out to grab my arms before I could put them around him. “Sahar, what are you doing?” he asked in a sharp tone.

“I…well, I saw you walking. I’ve called you a million times today, where have you been?”

“My daily whereabouts are none of your concern. I didn’t call you back because I didn’t want to talk to you.” His voice waivered on the last word. Anger? Was he mad at me?

“Have I done something to upset you?” I asked, stepping backward and away from his grasp on my arms.

“No…yes…no… It doesn’t matter. Look, we can’t be together okay. I’m sorry if I made you think we could, but we can’t.”

It wasn’t normal. The way I was feeling, as if his words were a sharp knife that continued to serrate my soul, in long slow movements, dragging out the pain. He kissed me. That was it. There wasn’t a profession of affection or devotion. It was just a kiss. My rational mind was aware of this. My rational mind was telling him that was fine and I didn’t care, to have a nice life. But there wasn’t anything rational about what I felt for him. So my irrational mind won out and I started to cry.

“But why? I don’t understand.” I sniffled and blotted my nose with my shirtsleeve. Attractive.

His demeanor softened at the sight of the tears and he ran his hands through his dark hair. “I don’t want to hurt you, okay. I don’t want anything to ever hurt you. It’s better this way.”

“Too late for that.” Now I was angry. What kind of cockamamie line was that? I don’t want anything to ever hurt you. “Fine,” I said through clenched teeth. “Good luck with the pack. I’m sure that dead body won’t stir up any trouble.” Okay, yes, I know my dad had told me not to say anything, but if you recall, I already mentioned that my rational mind had taken a hike.

He froze. I mean, stopped breathing froze and stared at me, his mouth agape as if he wanted to say something, but had come down with a sudden case of laryngitis.
“Whatever.” I turned and walked away from him. He was still standing like that when I glanced back at him over my shoulder. Good. Served him right.

Night had fallen and the streetlights were on. A soft glow from the storefront windows illuminated the sidewalk as I fought the strong winds walking back to my car. I had to lean into it and therefore did not see the body standing beside the car I was parked next to.

“Oh, I’m so sor…” Oh. My. God. My gaze traveled up the broad frame to meet black eyes that were alive with amusement. “I…I didn’t…”

He laughed, an easy going laugh that made me smile. “It’s all right,” he said. “It was just as much my fault as it was yours, I was looking down.” He kicked the tire of the car he was standing next to and I saw that it was flat as a pancake.

“Do you need a ride?” I blurted out before I could stop myself. I knew this must be Dean. Small town, remember. And he fit the H-O-T description Rachel had given me. Of course I didn’t know anything about him other than the physical reaction my body was having looking at his gorgeous features that rivaled any famous movie star I had ever seen, but what the heck. I dared a look over my shoulder, searching the night for Cameron, but he had vanished.

“Hey, that would actually be great, as long as you aren’t some serial killer or something,” he said.

“I was just hoping the same thing about you. I’m Sahar North. It’s nice to meet you.” I held out my hand and he took it in his, but just held it instead of shaking.
“I know who you are. Dean Anderson, nice to meet ya. That’s really a cool name, I’ve never heard it.”

“Thanks, it’s sort of a family name,” I told him.

He didn’t let go of my hand and I thought about pulling away, but didn’t want to be rude so I just stood there, feeling the warmth of his skin on mine.

“We should get going,” I told him, gently pulling my hand away to grab the car door in a surreptitious manner. “I didn’t expect to work today and need to get home before my dad does.”

I held the passenger side door of the Camry open and he slid in. What are you doing, I asked myself as I walked behind the car to the driver’s side. This was perhaps the single most reckless thing I had ever done. Hey, hot guy, I don’t know, hop on in my car and let’s drive down these dark roads. Ughh.

“Where to?” I asked him once inside and buckled. I knew where he lived, the house on Grover Street, but I couldn’t let him know that. He would think I was some kind of stalker or something.

“896 Grover Street. Do you know where that is?”

“Yeah, sure.” Awkward silence followed. Well, awkward for me. Dean seemed perfectly content with his long legs stretched as far as they could go and his arms pulled back behind his head. I turned the radio on to fill the quiet. My mom was the last person in the car and it was set to an easy listening station.

“Nice tunes,” he said, a note of humor in his voice. “Maybe we can swing by the bingo game over at the rec hall.”

“Sorry, this isn’t really my kind of music,” I told him frantically flipping for something with a beat. “This isn’t my car, I just turned sixteen and don’t have my own car yet.”

He looked over at me, “Huh, you sure look older than sixteen. I guess that means you’ll be going to TNH then?”

“Yeah, junior year for me. What about you?”

“Senior. Finally. I only need one math credit to graduate, then it’s so long to parental domination and hello to my freedom in college.”

“You don’t like your parents?” I asked him, turning on Grover Street. My foot eased off the gas. What was the speed limit on this road anyway?

“It’s just me and my dad and he’s okay, I’m just sick of moving. We move all the time. He works for the government as an environmentalist. They send him all over, testing the ground and shit. Needless to say I’ve been to every rural, nothing town in these here United States. No offense.”

“None taken,” I assured him.

“This is me,” he said, pointing to the driveway off the main road that I was already heading to. It had been a while since I’d come this way, the house was spooky looking in the dark. “Hey, it was nice to meet you, Sahar. I’ll see you on Tuesday. Who the hell starts school on a Tuesday anyway?” He laughed at his own joke and hopped out of the car.

I saw him throw a backward wave as he danced up his driveway to some song he had begun to sing. I think it was something about a bad moon? He seemed to be in an awfully good mood for your average run of the mill I-hate-my-parents-and-can’t-wait-to-get-out-of-here teenager.

He was odd.
I liked him.

2011-12-23T14:10:00.000-08:00

Cameron & Sahar

True North

Time to Write

2011-12-16T09:08:00.001-08:00

I am officially suffering from Literary Schizophrenia. I think I need an intervention. How have I come to such conclusions you ask? Let’s look at the facts, shall we? Currently I am writing:

FireFlys – 66,000
The Lady, The Lake, and The Locket – 23,791 words
Timeless Love – 7,590 words
Dreams – 1,940 words
Be Nice Nerina (Short Story) – 955 words
True North #2 (East) – 765 words

That is a lot of words. Completely…useless…words. One of those could very well be the one. You know, the one that allows me to break out of this mundane life and be a ‘professional’ author – as in, get paid enough to consider it my full-time job. *Sigh* I don’t think it will ever happen, but I can’t give up. I saw this movie once where these people were trapped in this maze and they finally just sat down, giving up, and died. Little did they know that the exit was right around the corner so if they’d just given it that extra ‘umph’ they would have made it. I believe it’s time for me to give it some extra ‘umph’ and finish a damn book. Any suggestions? Lady, Lake, Locket was my Nano idea and when I randomly closed my eyes and pointed to one, that was the winner, but I just can’t seem to get going with it. There is drama in my life (shocker) so perhaps that’s why. I’m so emotionally drained at night that all I want to do is lie in bed with the covers over my head and cry. The only thing to do, is to just make up my mind to do it. Right? Yes, no need to respond. I know I’m right.

So here we go. Here’s the ‘umph’: I will write 1K words a day until I’m done. Not edit. Not revise. Write. Word goal, 60K. Are you with me? Ready? Set… Go!

The Hunger Games

2011-12-04T05:36:00.000-08:00

My friend Alissa told me to read The Hunger Games threemonths ago. “I need to do that,” I would tell her. I guess I was hesitantbecause I don’t like dystopia AND I felt they were only popular becauseStephenie Meyer promoted them. Well, when my husband bought me my Kindle Fire(Which I FREAKING love) I had a free month of Prime so I ‘rented’ it from theKindle Library. No great loss if I hated it, right? Ummkay, let me just sayright now Alissa was right and I should have listened to my friend who knows mevery well. Oh.My.God. From the moment Katniss took Prim’s spot I was hooked.The way it was written, you could hear the desperation in her voice through thewords…amazing. I’m 100% Team Peeta and don’t know how anyone could be team Gale.He’s cute and all and Peta is amazing and has clearly been in love with her foryears. Unless Gale pulls out some unexpected move of awesomeness, I’m Team Peetaall the way!

I’m halfway through the second book right now. They are, ina way, better than Twilight. I KNOW, I know… Eclipse is still my favorite bookof ever in the history of ever, but these books make you think. Sometimes, I’llread something the Capitol has done and literally look around for someone toagree with me about the injustice of it all. Could we ever allow this tohappen? Would we EVER allow such a thing? Throughout history times of greatchange have been brought upon by one person standing up and saying, ‘No. Thisisn’t right, I’m not gonna do it, and I don’t care what you do to me.’ It only takes one brave soul, and usuallypeople will overcome their fear of persecution with what’s right. But what ifwe didn’t? What if we were so beaten down by a government that we were tooscared to do anything? Or even worse, what if some of us sat by allowing thesethings to happen to millions of others?

Um. Hey. Isn’t that kind of happening right now? Smaller scale, less broad of a spectrum, butstill. We’re far, far away from subjecting our children to a fight to the deathbut if we don’t make a stand soon, who knows where we’ll end up.

HAPPY BOOK BIRTHDAY TO TANGLED TIDES!

2011-11-24T18:58:00.001-08:00

Karen Amanda Hooper’s young adult novel, TANGLED TIDES, isofficially being released into the world today Well, it's actually being released tomorrow, November 25, 2011 but I'm so excited for her I wanted to go ahead and get the post up! Lots of you are up and starting your Black Friday shopping; I can assure you, the literary lover in your life will shout with joy should they receive this amazing book in their stocking!

I’m joining the celebration byfighting in the war--the underwater web war between the sea creatures!

Karen’s story contains battling merfolk, selkies, sirens andgorgons. She says she loves all of them, but she wants everyone else to choosea side, so…

I CHOOSE SIRENS!

Wanna learn more or join in on the fun? Go check out thedetails at Karen’s blog: http://karenamandahooper.blogspot.com/

Karen is giving away a signed copy of her book and someother sea creature themed prizes. To enter, join the underwater web war onTwitter. Tweet which sea creatures you’re rooting for and why. Include thehashtag #TangledTides and you could win.

Karen will be on Twitter all day celebrating and answeringquestions, so stop by and say hello. @Karen_Hooper

Summary of the story:

Yara Jones doesn’t believe in sea monsters—until she becomesone.

When a hurricane hits her island home and she wakes up with fins, Yara findsherself tangled up in an underwater world of mysterious merfolk and secretiveselkies. Both sides believe Yara can save them by fulfilling a broken promiseand opening the sealed gateway to their realm, but they are battling over howit should be done. The selkies want to take her life. The merfolk wantsomething far more precious.

Treygan, the stormy-eyed merman who turned Yara mer, will stop at nothing andsacrifice everything to protect his people—until he falls for Yara. The tidesturn as Yara fights to save herself, hundreds of sea creatures, and the mermanwho has her heart. She could lose her soul in the process—or she might open thegateway to a love that’s deeper than the oceans.

Linkage:

Amazon: http://amzn.com/1936850435

Rhemalda Bookstore: http://tiny.cc/BuyTangledTides

Barnes & Noble:

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/tangled-tides-karen-amanda-hooper/1035791101?ean=9781936850433&itm=1&usri=tangled%252btides

Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/12047201-tangled-tides

Breaking Dawn

2011-11-22T06:45:00.001-08:00

First of all, I’d like to apologize for taking so long to write this. Since it has almost been a week since I first saw the movie, this should have been done this weekend.

I’m sure most of you know the basic plot. Marriage-pregnancy-Jacob-Imprinting-Bella the Vampire. The movie literally ends at the end of the first chapter of Bella’s second section, and I’m so glad they made the decision to break it up. Whoever is responsible for the makeup needs to get an Oscar or Golden Globe or something that says you’re awesome because at one point the I leaned over to Maria the first time I saw it and whispered, “Oh my God, do you think they’re gonna let her die?” Kristen…and for the record I take back everything negative I’ve ever said about her…did an AH-MAZING job. There was this moment where you could see her go from ‘holy crap, I’m pregnant’ to ‘I will kill you if you harm this child.’ I could see it all over her face. That may be an element some of the younger fans miss out on, but as a mother, I really appreciated it.

(Maria and I at the Sneak Peak on Wednesday)

So overall the movie was amazing. I cried and screamed at the screen with the abruptness of the ending, and am thoroughly aggravated at Summit for making me wait a FREAKING year for part two.

(Left - My sister and I on the way in the car; Right – My sister and I waiting in line for the midnight showing)

Now here is, to me, the truly amazing part that I still can’t get over. There were a lot of good songs on the soundtrack and before I saw the movie I thought for sure A Thousand Years by Christina Perri would be the main love theme. But it’s not. Edward and Bella’s song, and I mean their song forever from the moment they met we just didn’t know it then, is this song called, Turning Page by Sleeping At Last. I’ve never heard of them, the song, even passed the song up on the soundtrack as just another pretty tune. When you listen to the words of this song, which is literally about a story of love, it couldn’t be more fitting.

“…your love is my turning page,

where only the sweetest words remain.

every kiss is a cursive line,

every touch is a redefining phrase…

I surrender who I've been for who you are,

for nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart.

If I had only felt how it feels to be yours,

well, I would have known what I've been living for all along.

What I've been living for…”

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? How, HOW I ASK YOU, have I not heard this song before? WHY are there not any fan videos on YouTube with this song? (Well, there may be now) I’m sure you’re aware of my connection to music, especially if you’ve read The Maldito Series. For me, there is always music; on the radio, the sounds of the world moving to the beat of my heart, the song in my head. This is one of those songs that will become a part of you, that can move and inspire you, just the way Twilight can. “Words can change your mood but add a little music and they can move your very soul.” ~ Me

For once, I’m happy to have failed

2011-11-15T12:38:00.001-08:00

I’m sure most of you know that I tried to kill myself when I was a senior in high school. It was a messy affair and I was taken away from school in a police car to the hospital where I was tied down – because that is apparently what they do to folks who have decided it’s too painful to continue living, they tie them down – and left in a room. My father was the first person to get there. I can’t for the life of me remember his expression or if he seemed upset, but I do remember the first words that came out of his mouth. He looked at me and said, “Well, girl, are you sorry now?” My response? Because even then it was imperative that I conduct myself with as much drama as possible I replied, “I’m sorry it didn’t work,” and turned my head to the wall so he wouldn’t see me cry.

Whoa, that was kinda heavy, even for me typing it out. But I have a point. The date of this little event in my life, though I had forgotten the exact date until recently, was November 18, 1996.

I’ll pause to let that sink in.

NOVEMBER 18th. Do you know what’s happening exactly fifteen years to the day that I tried to remove myself from this world over some high school BULL SHIT? Breaking Dawn is being released. Hey! Don’t roll your eyes at me. You’re clearly missing the point here. The point is, I can’t even begin to fathom all of the amazingly, wonderful things I would have missed if it had worked.

Sometimes the clouds cover the sun and we forget how beautiful things can be. Things are gray; they lose their luster and their shine and all we see and feel are the bad. The thing about clouds though, is they never stay in the same spot too long. Ever. They always fall apart or move along with the wind and when they do, wow things are bright! That’s how it was for me. Life, as it turned out, wasn’t so bad. I can’t tell you how sorry I feel for those people who continuously reminisce about high school. There was a line in I Am Number 4, “He’s in the third year of the best four years of his life.” When you think that an average life spans over eighty+ years that is a sad, sad thought. Twilight came along when I was about twenty-eight or twenty-nine and once again, things got a little brighter. Finishing my first novel, Emmy’s Song was in direct response to the words ‘The End’ at the back of Breaking Dawn. Four published novels later I just marvel at the world and how it sparkles (hehe) with possibilities for the rest of my hopefully very long life.

The pain I felt at that time in my life was very, very real. The love I felt then was very, very real. But what was exaggerated was the feeling of forever, or perhaps just such little knowledge of how long forever really was. If you know a teenager who is hurting, don’t discredit what they feel. Don’t tell them they’re just young and this will pass, and blahh, blahh, blahh. Tell them…about me. Tell them that if I had let those four years take away the rest of my life I would have never had Twilight and really, whose life is complete without a little Twilight? =)

Assimilation

2011-11-06T13:21:00.000-08:00

This is not procrastinating. Did you hear me? I know exactlywhat the other 700 words I need to write today to keep up with my Nano wordcount will be, so there is no way this could be procrastination, right? Man,maybe it is. Well, oh well.

My husband and I just had our ten year wedding anniversary.Yes, I’m thirty-two. Yes, I got married when I was twenty-two. It seems young,I know, but I’m from Bryceville. That’s what you did. You fell in love, gotmarried, had some babies, and lived happily ever after. Now, while I’ve got thecorner on the whole happily ever after thing, all that stuff in the middle couldhave waited.

I wouldn’t recommend getting married so young, the personwho I am now doesn’t even remotely resemble the person I was then. My husband,he’s a simple man. He has grown over the years, but he’s still quintessentially‘him.’ Me? Not so much. I’ve seen some of my friends wait until they were olderand it seems to have been a little easier for them; not as much drama. Ofcourse, they were normal, non-writer folk, so I’m sure things would have beenless dramatic for them regardless. My only advice is don’t compromise on thatone thing that’s really important to you; whatever it is. We all have that onething, that one deal-breaker. The one who won’t break the deal is out there, I promise.Just hang on.

So…work. Oh, work, you mock me so. I think you all know I work for a professional staffingfirm in the proposal department. My boss is Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde, which ishard for me on the Hyde days but Ah-mazing on the Jekyll days. But, what areyou gonna do, right? That’s what happens when you work for a woman, case inpoint why a woman should never be president. Yeah, yeah, I know women’s lib andall that jaz. Anyway, I’ve been doing a lot of on-demand writing and peopletend to change the best parts because it’s just out of the normal thing theywould do. I would bet money if they’d show some of those things to the brancheswho are actually responsible for this content we’re presenting to the client atthe end of the day, they’d love it. And I know this and am willing to bet moneybecause I already asked some of them and they loved it. So Nah. I’m a peacock!You gotta let me fly! (Mark Wahlberg – The Other Guys)

Like I said, this is not procrastination. This is assimilationin its purest form. These words and thoughts are becoming a part of myinspiration. Right? Well, oh well.

True North #2

2011-10-24T18:17:00.000-07:00

So this is where I'm thinking about going with True North #2 that is going to be called East something...I just don't know what yet. Thoughts?

After discovering that the counsel had been lying to the people of True North for hundreds of years, Sahar and those closest to her managed to set things right. Now Sahar has taken her place as the white wolf and monarch of the town. She is determined to make sure things never go back to the way they were.

But this story isn’t about Sahar.

Rachel Hill has been Sahar’s best friend her entire life so of course she was right by her side when the you-know-what hit the fan two years ago. But, that was two years ago. Rachel is on the tails of a bad breakup with Sahar’s twin brother, Dean, and has pretty much had it with True North and everyone in it. The morning she’s planning to make her big break, she’s told that Sahar has vanished without a trace. Rachel thinks Sahar caught wind of her plan to leave, but when they find droplets of her blood in the woods, she’s not so sure.

On the hunt for her best friend, Rachel is also trying to prevent Dana, Sahar’s cousin, from taking over the town in her absence. She can’t do it all alone and once again, Dean, Cameron, Luke, and Tessa will pitch in to save the day.

But sometimes, the day can’t be saved.
Sometimes, they day was dead right from the start.

NaNoWriMo

2011-10-19T09:41:00.000-07:00

I’m sure you’ve all heard of NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month, or Month of the Crazy. I’ve given it a shot the past two years and haven’t been able to finish either time. Now, I did finish and publish those novels, just not in a month.

My problem: I have the patience of woman in labor on her way to the hospital. As in, none. Zero. Zilch. Nada. I don’t know why I’m like that, but I am. I’m not the writer that I could be because I always submit my second draft. That’s right. My I-just-went-back-over-it-for-spelling-and-such draft. So when I write I feel like it’s the end all, beat all. But it’s not. Rule number one for NaNo is to give yourself permission to write a really crappy first draft. So I’m going to do that. I’m not going to edit the last chapter before I start on the new chapter; I’m just going to write. To be successful at this I will need to make a really good outline. I usually do a loose chapter by chapter outline but this is going to be firm, detailed, and orderly so I can just write. 50K in a month. DONE!

I will be writing the sequel to True North. I didn’t know if there was going to be one or not but it seems folks like it so…what the heck right? I’m doing a North, East, South, West thing which means this will be East. I have no idea what I’m going to call it yet, other than True North #2. lol Suggestions welcome.

One last note. I received a promotion at work and am now a Jr. Proposal Writer. I’m still teetering between my old job training the new person, and my new job, but I hope to just be doing my new job by the first of next year. So in essence…I’M GETTING PAID TO WRITE! =) *Happy Dance* Now, it’s not very creative. “Clear and Concise.” That’s what they keep telling me but I can’t help throw in some Christy Flair every now and then. I hope everyone has purchased their copy of True North, but if you haven’t, here’s the link for Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/True-North-ebook/dp/B005TTLQ14/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpt_1

Also, I’ll be doing a Monthly guest blog on my publisher’s site which you can see here:
http://extasybooks.net/essenceofextasy/

I’ll be gracing the monitor of a computer near you every 25th. I do expect to see you there.

The Unraveling of a Yellow Shirt

2011-10-05T03:49:00.000-07:00

I have this favorite shirt that I wear all the time. It’s yellow (my favorite color), fits me perfectly (just lost some weight so yay), and has pretty detail on the front. The problem is, the pretty detail has begun to unravel. I haven’t snagged it on anything so the culprit can only be the washing machine. And while I admittedly wear it more than perhaps intended, they knew it was going to be washed when they made it, so why didn’t they make it stronger, more durable?

Yesterday while sitting at my desk wondering how I would make it through every day without my Christopher, I began to question God in the same manner. Why didn’t he make my heart more durable? Isn’t this what it was made for? To love? To express kindness and allow people to become close to you? So why I ask you does it come unraveled so easily? Admittedly I may use mine more than his average creation but still, he knew. He knew and he should have made my heart stronger, me stronger.

But he didn’t. So I feel unraveled and hope someone has a needle and thread. I’ll be needing it.

And the winner is...

2011-10-03T15:47:00.000-07:00

Happy Release Day To Me

2011-09-30T20:21:00.000-07:00

**Extended! Some folks were having trouble posting from their phones and such, so I'm extending this through Monday 10/3! And let's make it a $20.00 Amazon gift card, shall we!***

Hi! You’re here! Oh my gosh, I’m so excited you came by!! Today is the release of my fourth novel, True North. It’s about a small town in Colorado where everyone is a shape shifter…except Sahar. It’s a story about standing out rather than fitting in, fighting for what you believe in, and of course, a hot boy with blue eyes. Yeah, I have issues. I know.

In honor of this most excellent occasion, I have decided to give away a free copy of True North and an Amazon gift card. To enter, just leave a comment below and let me know you’re interested.

Again, thanks for stopping by and good luck!

True North - http://www.extasybooks.com/true-north/

Add True North to your ‘To Read’ list on Goodreads!

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/12591648-true-north

Oh and here’s a little excerpt from True North to wet your whistle.

“I’m always around, Dawn. Whether you know it or not. We are one in the same, you and I.”

“What if I don’t want you around?” I asked.

“Then you’re going to die. Plain and simple.” He held up his hand and my necklace dangled, swaying this way and that in the breeze. How did he get that?

“Give it back,” I demanded. “It’s mine. You gave it to me.”

He began to hum that same damn song and placed the necklace in his pocket. When he turned his back to me, I could see the horrible gash that traveled the length of his spine. Blood dripped down his legs, staining the snow around him. I could smell it, it was…heavenly. My mouth began to water and I was down on my knees, stuffing the hot snow in my mouth. He began to laugh and then I began to scream.

Baby Kitties and Pricker Bushes

2011-09-29T03:42:00.000-07:00

While driving home in a panic yesterday, I saw two baby kitties on the side of the road. I was in a hurry because I had to get home and fax a New York hotel a credit card authorization form for a friend at work. Once that was completed (and trust me she should feel really special that I put that over the kitties), I went back to try and get them. There are three; two black and one gray, and they are as big as my hand. I was so close to getting them it was just heartbreaking. My husband took me back up there when the rain slacked a bit, but no luck. So of course, they’re all I can think about.

I’m telling y’all right now, if I ran this country, anyone who hurt kids, animals, or old people would be killed on the spot. If two grown-ass men are fighting and someone gets stabbed or shot, whatever. Shit happens. Let’s have a trial and all that. The person guilty of that crime isn’t necessarily a bad person, they just got in a bad spot. ANYONE who hurts a child, animals, or old people CANNOT be rehabilitated. PERIOD. They prey on weak victims because they are sick in the head and need to dominate something. I would be like, ‘You did what? Booocahoowhhh!’ (That was me kicking them in the head and then shooting them.)
~
After two afternoons of crawling around in the pricker bushes, Cameron getting attacked by fire ants, and Myron ripping his tie, I have come to the conclusion that the baby kitty doesn’t like me. This is a very hard fact for me to accept because ALL CATS LIKE ME. I am sad.

Well TRUE NORTH comes out on Saturday. At least I’ve got that going for me. Below are pics of the kitties that still love me.

Gary the Cat

Dilly

Fenway

True North Release and Amazon Gift Card Giveaway

2011-09-12T11:17:00.000-07:00

On October 1st, True North will be available to purchase. In honor of this occasion I will be giving away a $15.00 Amazon Gift Card and a FREE eCopy of True North. Though the Maldito Series will always hold a special place in my heart, I am very excited to begin something new. Is this a series? Well, it wasn’t supposed to be. The story itself is singular, told from start to finish, beginning-middle-end all in one book. The characters, however, don’t seem to be accepting that. So we shall see where this small Colorado town takes me. Wherever it is, I hope you come along for the ride!

True North Release and Amazon Gift Card Giveaway
Date: October 01, 2011
Venue: www.christytrujillo.blogspot.com
Description:
Join me on October 1st for the release of my new novel, True North! I’ll be giving away a $15.00 Amazon Gift Card and a FREE copy of True North. What does it take to enter? Check my blog: www.christytrujillo.blogspot.com on October 1st to find out! Hope to see you there!

Trying to make it out of high school alive – Difficult.
Being the only human in a town of Shape Shifters – Challenging.
Figuring out where you really belong (with the help of the hottest guy you’ve ever laid eyes on) - Priceless.

True North
10/1/11

*Add True North to your ‘To Read’ list!
http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/12591648-true-north

See who else going and get more info:
http://www.goodreads.com/event/show/130356?i=LTM2MDQ0NTI5MDM6MzY4&si=true&utm_medium=email&utm_source=event_invite

WriteOnCon

2011-08-19T07:41:00.000-07:00

I’ve spent the past few days trying to sneak WriteOnCon into my daily life. Oh, who am I kidding? I’m not all that great with the secrets and lies so pretty much everyone I work with knew what I was doing over here in my corner of the world. I work with a group of technical writers, so I suppose they get it.

I learned a lot. Like, a lot, lot. It’s always nice to mingle with other folks going through the same things you are and remind yourself, hey…maybe this is worth it. This beating your head against a brick wall because you could have sworn you saw a crack and you just know that sucker’s going down any moment now. Okay, maybe it’s not that extreme, though I do feel that way sometimes. I know this for certain: I have never wanted anything more in my entire life. I’ve never had career aspirations, I’ve never been one to try and climb the corporate ladder. You have to write your goals at work and I’m always like, um.. yeah, don’t gouge my eyes out with a pen. That’s my day –to-day goal. LoL I want to be a writer. No, scratch that. I am a writer; I don’t give a shit what you people say. I AM a writer. I want to have a career being an Author. I want to get paid to stay home and immerse myself in this world in my head, and attended classes and conferences. I want to go to charity events and raise money for animal shelters, I want someone to stop me on the street and say, “Hey, didn’t you write that book XYZ?” And the thing about it is, I know I could help people, well, at least teenage girls. I KNOW I CAN. If they could hear me, hear my story, I know it would help someone. One day. I mean it folks, one day I will have this life. But I digress…

WriteOnCon was a great experience! My favorite video was about not giving up. You can watch that here:

I also managed to get a request for 50 pages and a synopsis by the amazingly wonderful Christina Hogrebe (see it was meant to be, we even have the same name!) so that was awesome. Who knows if anything will come of it but she said, and I quote:

“#51. I hope you’ll introduce conflict that will take this fish out of water setup to the next level, but the writing is beautiful. The nostalgic tone promises something heartbreaking. Send me 50 pgs and synop by email.”

Don’t even front like that’s not awesome, cuz you know it is!

I’m going through massive revisions on FireFlys and I am still in edits for True North (out 10/1/11). I love it. Now, if the rest of my life could just catch up. Maybe I’ll be like Ms. Harry Potter and get that deal just in the nick of time – you know, like soon. ;)

Definition: Curmudgeon

2011-07-27T11:43:00.000-07:00

So there was this guy (no, not THE guy), this other guy, from high school. I met him the summer before ninth grade and liked him right away. He was very cute, sweet, funny, smart, did I say cute? He lived in my neighborhood and we…I don’t even know what to say…we would ride bikes and kiss on the golf course, that was really the extent of it. When school started I began dating this other guy, Nick, and Neighborhood guy tried to win me back for a while. I had moved on though, so I didn’t think twice about it. Well, cute boys tend to get cuter as they grow and by our Sophomore year, I was regretting the whole Nick thing. We went back and forth, even during THE guy, and definitely in the aftermath of THE guy. One incident really sticks with me though. Directly after THE guy, I started dating this other fella named Cale. (Yes, that’s where I got the name) Cale was sweet but when he was mad, whoo… you better watch out. One night, we got in a fight and he pushed me into the doorframe of his truck. I’m not sure if he meant to hurt me but I was hurt just the same. The next thing I know, people are telling me Neighborhood guy went and jumped in his face telling Cale he would regret it if he ever laid a hand on me again. At this point, Neighborhood guy and I weren’t even speaking since he was ‘popular’ and thanks to my Wicked Witch of the North (True North reference. Pick it up 10/1/11 to see what I’m talking about) I no longer was. I have no idea how Neighborhood guy found out. Later that year, I may or may not have taken something special from Neighborhood guy, though I admit to nothing. To be honest, I felt like I’d taken advantage of him then, and then again this other time at a party because neighborhood guy has HUGE feet. And you know what they say about boys with big feet. Yeah, big shoes. ;)

After graduation I saw Neighborhood guy a few more times, just as friends. Then he moved. Fast forward about six years to the world of Facebook. Here he is. I’m excited to see him. Friend request him and I get this LOOOONG email that he doesn’t feel like we should be friends out of respect for his wife and that he didn’t treat me the way someone should be treated. I’m utterly dumbstruck reading this then I think okay maybe his wife is a ‘you can’t be friends with old flames’ kind of wife. But when I look on his page, he is friends with old flames. Just not me. So I’m left to wonder where we went wrong and miss him because he was that guy that always got under my skin. He was that friend that would always tell me when I was being ridiculous and apparently, stick up for me, even when I didn’t know about it. I dream about him sometimes and it makes me sad. Like, really, wake up crying sad. I don’t know why. I dreamt about him last night. We were in Alaska with his parents and little sister camping and it was very cold. Totally random, I haven’t thought about him in a while so I don’t know why I dreamt of him last night. It just makes me sad and I wish I knew whatever it was that I did to make it so easy for him to forget me.

You give these little pieces of your heart away all of your life and very rarely do you get them back. I think that’s why old people are so grumpy.

Aliens and Technology

2011-07-23T05:47:00.000-07:00

So last week, was good. I signed the contact for True North and was told my release date is 10/1/11. Yay. It’s eBook which now that I have a Kindle is the only kind of book I myself purchase but unfortunately, my family still doesn’t consider that being published. I’ve read quite a few news articles this week about the collapse of the publishing industry thanks to Amazon (and said Kindle) but I don’t think it will ever die completely, do you? I think that would be sad. Partly because I still want to see my book on a shelf in a store and partly because there are just some aspects of our lives that technology should stay out of. There’s this show called Falling Skies (my husband is a huge alien person so he makes me watch all this stuff) about an invasion and the first thing they did was disable all of our technology, electricity, everything. So people have to adjust to life without computers and phones. I love this show and not for the alien aspect. I love it for the social aspect. Things are upside down. People like, pretty much everyone I work with are useless. They are nothing, have no meaningful skills to keep themselves alive. Now people like mechanics and construction workers are the invaluable ones. It’s very interesting to see society flip like that and I think the show is very well written and well done. Just FYI, here’s the link to the website: http://www.tnt.tv/series/microsite/fallingskies/

I’m really going to try and promote True North. I think it’s a good story, something different at least, and I really want to make some money for my publisher since they continue to support me despite my shortcomings. I’m finishing up FireFlys and will be submitting that to TLT Publishing. I really want to be a part of that family and I’m just praying that I’m good enough.

Welp, that’s about it for now. Hope everyone has a good week!

Waiting to Wake up

2011-07-14T15:42:00.000-07:00

I think there’s something wrong with me. No, like, really wrong with me. I feel like I’m walking around in a dream waiting to wake up and live. Everything is either too difficult or too simple. There is this state of mind called contentment. It’s this perfect harmony of well being where you don’t lie in bed at night and worry about everything, and you don’t look in the mirror and want to vomit, and you don’t have to force yourself to put the brush down so that you don’t beat yourself in the head until you are bloody with it. I couldn’t be further away from that state of mind. Okay, now, to be clear, I’m not sad. I love my husband and my son. But I’m just…I don’t know. Hell, maybe that’s the problem. I don’t know what is wrong with me.

Things are really hard right now since my husband lost his job and we’re having a hard time (meaning we’re not) keeping up with the bills. I haven’t had to worry about money stuff in a while and it freaking sucks. I mean it’s this all consuming worry that makes it hard for me to breathe. And I’m so mad about stupid little things. Things like, I didn’t get to do anything for my birthday, and I can’t get my hair done (see above about the beating in the head with the brush), and I can’t eat out for lunch. I’m so mad about these things. Downright resentful.

And then there’s work and all I’m going to say about that is never, ever, ever, ever work for your best friend. EVER.

So again, I’m back to waiting to wake up because this has to be a dream. This cannot be my real life. This…thing…that I do day after day, this has to be some sort of alternate reality and any moment now I’m going to wake up in my cozy and romantic bed with tall tapered posts draped in sheer silk, on the second floor of my country style cottage in Bryceville. I’ll roll to the left and see a copy of my most recent novel sitting on my nightstand and then roll back to the right and see the handsome face of my peaceful and employed husband. Any moment now.

Thick Skin

2011-07-02T06:27:00.000-07:00

To be an author you’ve got to have some thick skin. Reviewers slam you, agents tell you no, doors are shut in your face, but you have to keep going. These things don’t bother me. I’m all about a bad review because it makes me a better writer. Every no I get from an agent is one more answer closer to a yes. I’ve been told I’m thickheaded so maybe that’s why the whole door slamming business doesn’t faze me either.

For me, the hardest thing to endure is my own self-doubt. There are various people in my life that contribute to this, but really it’s all me. This is what aggravates me about me. So, yes, we’re broke. My husband lost his job and we’re just barely getting by. I use this as an excuse for everything. Why won’t I go to the writer’s conference here locally? We can’t afford it. Why won’t I take some classes? We can’t afford it. And to be honest, no, we can’t afford it but I can still find ways to make myself a better writer. There are plenty of online groups, conferences, forums and other such things I could take advantage of.

I have a lot to learn. Since I tried to commit suicide my senior year, college just wasn’t in the cards for me. I wasn’t in the right frame of mind, I wasn’t thinking clearly. I just wanted to get a job and get out of my house. Well, I did. And now here I am...a lot… of years later and though I’ve made peace with myself, I really wish I had an education. I have a strong connection to YA because it’s probably the only thing that got me through those months when my world was so dark. I want to write YA for YA, not like most of it is these days and YA for adults that like YA. I want to reach out from the pages and give that reader a place to escape and a glimmer of hope, that things won’t stay the way they are forever, even if it feels that way.

I’m going to keep at it, oh don’t you worry about that. I’ll always keep at it because writing is my escape and glimmer of hope that things won’t stay the way they are now forever, even if it feels that way.

A Little Reminder

2011-06-29T16:24:00.000-07:00

STOP. Before you continue, it is imperative that you read this or you will not understand a word I’m saying. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

http://christytrujillo.blogspot.com/2009/06/inventory.html

The question is… “Who am I?” The answer is of course very simple and was there all along. I am…me. The problem wasn’t that I didn’t know who I was, it’s that I didn’t like who I was. There was this person that would stare back at me from the mirror and I would cringe. You’re ugly, you’re stupid, you’re nothing, I would tell the girl. She never fought back and the abuse continued. Then the girl would foolishly turn to those around her and expect them to fix her. Being “Their daughter, her friend, his girlfriend, his wife, his mom” was just an excuse to avoid being the only thing I could be which was and is, MYSELF. Since this post I have published two novels and am currently finishing the third in my series. Fate has been a very large part of these books and somewhere in between Emmy’s Heart and the first few chapters of Sarah’s Fate I managed to find Christy’s courage. The courage to look within myself for happiness because, honey, the only person that can make you happy…I mean truly happy, is you. And before you can love someone else…I mean truly love them, you have to learn to love yourself. And I have. Do I still have my days? Of course. I’m still a girl. But now when I look around me I see my parents, and my BFF, and my honey, and my son and I am happy.

For my 31st birthday I have decided to get a tattoo of the word believe over the scar on my wrist. Why believe? Because that’s all we have. The only thing that cannot be taken away from us is our ability and capacity to believe. Believe in fate, in God, in love, in unicorns, in vampires. Without that, without something to hold onto and believe in, what are we? What do we have but empty spaces inside of us longing to be filled? So now when I’m brushing my teeth or putting on my Twilight bracelet I won’t see a scar. I’ll see my husband’s face, and my son’s smile. I’ll hear Maria laughing and Courtney talking in her funny guy voice, (you really should hear that, it’s hilarious) and think the words ‘published author’ because at the end of the day, I believe in me.

I will never forget my first love or the pain I felt and I’m glad. Because without that, without everything I’ve been through, what the hell would I write about? ;)

Hi, I’m Christy. I’m a published author with a “gift for tense and revealing dialogue” (I didn’t write that, it’s from a review of Emmy’s Heart) and more stories to tell. I’m the mother of a great kid and the wife of a very hardworking man. I’m friends with some amazing girls (and guys) and am happy to say, have stopped abusing the girl in the mirror. It's nice to meet you.

Update...

A Real Broken Heart

2011-06-02T17:42:00.000-07:00

Being told by one's mother to stay the hell away from her, that you are a (insert inappropriate curse word here) idiot and that she doesn’t care what you do from here on out would be upsetting to most folks. And while I was upset on May 31st when I was told these things by mine, I am unfortunately used to it. All of my life I have been at the mercy of her verbal berating. From being told I was a slut and a bitch in high school to being told that I should drive my car off the road because my son would be better off with her for a mother (in front of my son who was seven at the time) more recently, she’s always been like that. Now if it was just a simple matter of her hating me, well, I might be able to come to terms with that and let it go…but no. There are always sporadic stints of wonderful thrown in to make the not so wonderful fade until of course it happens again and I’m left to wonder what the hell I’ve done wrong…again. This time it all came down to furniture. She was unhappy with the way that I chose to use the dresser she gave me (Cameron) when Cameron was born. Please note – we purchased him brand new furniture when we moved in our new home, furniture which he threw a fit for. The dresser she gave us was in the spare room and well, that was just unacceptable. There’s more, of course. I don’t appreciate anything she does for me. Frankly, other than saying thank you (which I do) sending flowers (which I’ve done), and dedicating my first FREAKING novel to her, I really don’t know how I’m supposed to show said appreciation.

We’re not speaking right now, I told my dad that I couldn’t deal with her until she was off her pain meds (which I think she is addicted to and are making her extra special crazy) and we are just making concessions until school is over as she has watched my son up until this point. Clearly, that’s over now though. There are two sides to every story, I’m not perfect and I’m sure I’ve done something unforgivable at some point but I can promise you this folks, when she is old and alone and she realizes that she threw me away because of furniture she will regret it. But it will be too late then. Way too late.

2011-05-16T11:06:00.000-07:00

There is a scene in Sister Act 2 that plays over and over in my mind when I start to doubt myself as a writer (so basically, like, all the time) where Whoopi is talking to Lauren Hill who is having a hard time admitting she is a singer and in this conversation she says:

"…Don't ask me about being a writer. lf when you wake up in the morning you can think of nothing but writing...then you're a writer.
I'm gonna say the same thing to you. If you wake up in the mornin' and you can't think of anything but singin' first...then you're supposed to be a singer. Girl."

While I do love to sing, what I think about when I wake up is finding time that day to sit down and write. I begin to scheme about eating lunch at my desk and getting Cam to bed early. I think about my characters and listen as they have funny conversations that play out in my head. I obsess over everything I write as I didn’t go to college and just recently learned that cannot is one word and can’t spell for poop. So, according to Whoopi (or the writers of Sister Act 2) I’m meant to be a writer. Now, to be clear, no one said anything about getting paid to be a writer, they just said that in my heart, to give my soul a voice and live my life to the fullest, I need to write. So…I write. And then I delete. And then I write again. And then I cry because it sucks.
But, I write because that is who I am, what I want to be, and the legacy I want to leave.

Paper Cuts

2011-03-29T11:45:00.000-07:00

If you follow this blog, which would be damn near a miracle in and of itself, you are aware that I have begun to print large documents at my day job. Let me say, it is not nearly as bad as I thought it would be as all the peeps I work with are totally stepping up to the plate and taking responsibility for their own stuff, but it’s still not the best thing in the world. I’ve already got some paper cuts and looking down at the microscopic serrations of my skin I had a thought.

Most of my ‘problems’ are paper cuts.

Annoying, sometimes painful, little things that inhibit my day-to-day routine for a week or so and then heal up. Isn’t it funny how those little cuts are all we can think about when they first happen, be it the pain when they come in contact with water when we wash our hair or the funny feeling when we type, but after a while, we forget where they even were. I look around me and see people with downright gashes in their skin, and they don’t whine as much as I do, or complain as much as I do. Shame on me, right. Yeah, shame on me. Like my granny always said, “Well, you can just scratch your tail and get glad.” (I don’t know, I grew up on a dirt road people.)

Things could always be worse. I still have my little sticky that says blessed in my line of sight. I also have 3 things that say believe (4 if you count my wrist) so when I start to get down about my little paper cuts I always have something reminding me to stop feeling sorry for myself. Look around. Are you dealing with paper cuts or gashes? Either way, you’ll find the strength. We always do.

Why I Love Him

2011-02-14T15:59:00.001-08:00

To my wonderful Wife:

More often than you know, during an ordinary moment, I look at you and forget all the stuff that clutters our lives. The jobs, the bills, the schedules, the routines all fade away and I just see you - this absolutely wonderful woman who I'm lucky enough to have by my side.

I know I don't tell you often enough but I really love the life we've made - with all its ups and downs, its twists and turns. I love it because I love the woman who's at the very heart of it all - you, my wonderful wife.

My Valentine's card from my honey. Ten years this November and I love him more now than I ever have before. <3

Good Life

2011-02-01T11:43:00.001-08:00

It’s all about attitude. I know that’s cliché but it really is. I listen to Christian radio, because you know, I’m a Christian, and this morning there was a lady on that said we need to stop taking things for granted in our lives. The majority of humans on this planet live on $2.00 a day. No matter how bad it is, we can always find something to be grateful for. As you all know, I’ve just been a big ball ‘o negativeness about my job lately and that mindset needs to change. At least I have a job. At least I have a good income even though I don’t have a degree. At least I love the people I work with. At least I always get the tools I need to get my job done. At least there’s Ed (you don’t know him but trust me when I say he is a benefit). The list goes on and on. I’ve made little sticky notes that say things like ‘is it really that bad?’ and ‘blessed’ and posted them in various lines of my sight. I am determined to maintain this positive attitude no matter what may come my way. If at the end of the day, I’m not the girl for the job then so be it but there’s no point in me whining everyone to death. I have a great job, on the brink of our ten year anniversary, I love my husband now more than ever, and my son is gifted. Life is Good.

Jonathan Rhys Meyers is making me miss my deadlines

2011-01-19T17:39:00.001-08:00

So let's just forget for two seconds that he's the best looking man God ever graced us with, he's also an amzing actor AND pretty much every male lead in all my books..

Cameron in True North - "He was an Alpha so naturally he was tall and every muscle was chiseled out of stone. He had black hair, the bluest eyes God had ever blessed any of his creations with, and a smile that could chase away the clouds on a rainy day." Um hummm.

I can't stop watching videos about him like this one:

God Help Me.

Year in Review

2011-01-02T16:23:00.000-08:00

Wow, what a year. I look back and think of all the things that happened, yet it seems to have flown by. 2010 was one of my best years, personally and emotionally. Though I published two books this year (three total), I wouldn’t say I’m any closer to being a famous author nor have a gained any ground at my day job as a Sales Coordinator…but let’s stick with the positive, shall we?

I met my overall goal I set for myself in 09 of finding out who I was. It was a great sense of peace to realize that I’d been here all along; one can begin to question ones sanity when one has thought to have lost oneself. Cameron was tested and subsequently passed into the Gifted program. In addition to proud mom feelings, I was relieved in general. I have always said the kid was odd. And now I know why. He’s just really freaking smart. Things have been better since he’s been able to interact with his peers who are on the same intelligence level. You see, Gifted doesn’t mean he’s a genius. It just means his capacity for learning is above average and therefore his brain needs more stimulation than that of your typical seven-year-old. As the sign on his Gifted teacher’s door says, “He’s not weird, He’s Gifted.” Hummm, what else? Well, my list of small personal achievements that would mean nothing to you is rather long. Things like; I learned that cannot is one word, or what a curmudgeon is, or the vibration of matter and it’s correlation to the possibility of other dimensions (Ancient Aliens on the History Channel. Good shit.). These are things I consider small victories…knowledge. I have said before and I’ll say it again, the only thing I learned in High School was how to cry myself to sleep. It was a complete and utter waste of my time and as you all well know, very nearly took my life. As I have grown, I have learned so much more and I wish I had gone to college and had a different educational experience. You bet your tail that Cameron is going, though seeing as how he is smart, I’m sure he will want to anyway.

Lessons I’ve learned that you may find helpful: Not everyone is what they portray themselves to be online. You have to be very, very careful when making online friends, people are crazy. The iPod Touch, Gen 4 is the coolest technological gadget EVER. When fighting with one’s spouse, think of the cost of something before you slam it against the wall. And finally, it is never too late to become what you could have been.

I wish you all a prosperous and peaceful 2011.

Day Job

2010-12-15T16:01:00.000-08:00

You know how you can see something coming and just know it’s going to be awful? Like, life-alteringly (which is apparently not a word but fits here so it’s staying) awful. Yeah, that’s where I am. I can see it coming, and no one else cares. And do you know why dear random blog follower that I know not of? Because I am the only one whose life will be altered. Okay, I’m sure you’re wondering what I’m talking about.

Here’s the skinny:

I work with a group of folks that respond to bids and proposals for a LARGE staffing company. We work on more than 1,000 efforts a year. I am the coordinator of said group. As you can imagine, some of those proposals have to be printed. When I first started with this crew six years ago, that was in no shape, form, or fashion my job. I would help out, but the proposal writer was responsible for it. To our extreme advantage, an outside printer just happened to be on the 1st floor of our building and they did most of the hard shit (cutting the covers down, laminating, making the tabs, actually printing the thing out) and then we would collate, bind, and send it on its way. Over the years, as people have come and gone, I have somehow managed to become responsible for all of that and I was trying to take that in stride UNTIL we were recently bought out and have been told we are moving across town. HOLY SHIT! Does no one else see the issue here? Now we are going to have to share printers with everyone else and SOMEONE will have to do all the hard shit (see above) and I can already see people looking my way. I’ve never been one to throw out the ‘that’s not my job’ bit. I hate that. But I cannot convey to you the impact all of this is having on my life. The move alone is going to add an hour to my day (drive time), the insurance went up almost $200 a month AND we are going from an every other week pay to a twice a month pay, thereby getting rid of that ‘extra’ paycheck we have. Our director also informed us that our little crew that used to be 7 people tops may climb to close to 30! 30! Are you freaking kidding me? And you want me to what? For WHAT? At some point, you have to step back and ask yourself, is this worth it? Is it worth it to get home at seven every night, dead, pissed at the world? Is it worth it to have people take advantage of you over and over? Is it worth it to work for a company six years and still be hourly when everyone else around you is salary? I don’t have a degree but I’ve been a sales coordinator in some fashion for 11 years. I’m good at it. I don’t know…am I overreacting? Am I freaking out for nothing? I welcome advice from other corporate employed type folk. The REAL solution here would be for all ya’ll to just buy my damn books and me make enough money doing that to stay home and finish FireFlys and get a book deal. Hey, a girl can dream.

And then I don't feel so bad...

2010-11-29T16:12:00.000-08:00

…These are a few of my favorite things…

Life….

2010-11-18T13:15:00.000-08:00

I am finding myself more and more inspired by Dr. Seuss. Though often silly and mismatched, his words always have a greater purpose, always a meaning in the end. How do you know you like something if you don’t give it a try? In the end, you should always do the right thing.. and so forth and so on. Life, as it turns out, is much like a Dr. Seuss book. Always a deeper meaning that I miss on the surface, always some greater purpose that I can’t seem to find until it’s too late. The thing about life, though, is that you can’t start over. You can’t go back to the first page and read it again if you messed up how many soxs sue has. So what can we do but try like hell to get it right the first time? And the even bigger question is how do we know if we got it right? Barring some major cataclysmic break in the universe, who’s to say if we messed up or if things are just running along according to plan?

I still believe in fate, don’t get me wrong. I’m just questioning her motives lately.

Bad Mood

2010-11-09T16:18:00.001-08:00

There comes a point, on days such as this, where every sound feels like needles in my ears. Every question someone asks me, or request someone makes has me searching for cotton to perhaps shut out all the dribble that continues to fall from the mouths of everyone around me. Especially my son, poor kid. God knows he’s going to be reading someone this blog on a leather sofa when he’s older. He will, however, be especially understanding of his wife’s mood swings.

I’ve seen a spectrum of things this week and have come to the conclusion that we, as a society, are never truly happy. Someone whose life was worse than mine looks at me and thinks wow, if I only had what she has, I’d be happy. I look at others and think wow, if I only had what they have, I would be happy. But none of us are. I’ve always said that money could indeed buy you happiness and shame on the lazy bum who said otherwise but, rich people aren’t happy either. Are there times when I think I’m happy? Of course. Reading a good book, taking a hot bath, writing, eating white chocolate, when my son acts normal, good booty from my honey…yes. I feel I am happy at these times but it never lasts. Why? Why can’t I just be content and not let people/things bother me? If I lived in a bubble, and only allowed access to a select few, things would perhaps take a turn for the better. If I knew my debt card would never get declined in the pharmacy line at Walgreens (oh yea. Good times.) again, that might put a little bounce in my step.

I need a serious attitude adjustment. About everything. I need some new perspective and some time to think. I’m going to NYC next week for work. Perhaps that will be a good time.

Hey, you, movie producer! Make a movie out of my books so I can stay home all day and write. You may very well save my life. Please and thank you. (they would be a great movie.)

2010-11-06T11:47:00.000-07:00

In an odd place

2010-10-25T17:24:00.000-07:00

Halloween. I love it. Really. I’m a total sucker for scary movies, and ghosts, and all things paranormal. Probably because I don’t believe in any of it. Not really. I’ve never seen a ghost. I’ve never had an encounter. I did have a boyfriend sort of read my mind one time. “Remember the Party? It’s killing me.” His name was Carey and he refuses to speak to me, which is sad. He’s in NYC where I will be in a few weeks. I wish I could see him,

…but I digress…

Mothman Prophecies is on. This is an amazing movie. I forgot how deep this goes. In fact, it’s straight up freaking me out. It always comes back to that.. the tricks that our minds play on us are far more fighting than reality. The hairs on the back of our neck standing up…that feeling. We all have it. Someone/something is there. Is there? Someone there? Who knows.

Wake up, Number Thirty Seven

3 for 1

2010-10-18T11:17:00.000-07:00

Since I am so close to meeting the required amount of copies sold, I am going to do something crazy. From now until 10/31, if you email me a proof of purchase for Sarah’s Fate, I will reply to that email with Emmy’s Song and Emmy’s Heart for FREE. My publisher requires that I sell a certain number of my release for an opportunity to be in print so it has to be Sarah’s Fate that you purchase for the three for one deal.

Buy Link: http://www.devinedestinies.com/shopdevine/index.php?page=shop.product_details&flypage=ebook_flypage&product_id=1205&category_id=24&manufacturer_id=35&option=com_virtuemart&Itemid=69

If you’re still on the fence, here are some reviews for the books:

Emmy’s Song (4 ½ graves)
http://bittenbybooks.com/?p=29111

Emmy’s Heart (4 graves)
http://bittenbybooks.com/?p=29115

Early review for Sarah’s Fate from my favorite blogger/book reviewer, Lexie
http://lastexilewords.blogspot.com/2010/10/book-review-sarahs-fate.html

Send your proof of purchase to emmylovescale@yahoo.com!

Thank you all =)
Christy

Christy's New Friend

2010-10-15T09:53:00.000-07:00

I’ve said before, many times actually, that I would never, ever like anyone who didn’t like Twilight. Well, that theory has been debunked. I recently met an extremely interesting, funny, kind, loving, thoughtful, smart (insert other positive adjectives here) …person who hates Twilight. Like, throws up in her mouth when I talk about it hates it. She is a writer as well, so we did have something in common right of the bat, but there was more to it for me. She is one of those folks that people just want to be around. Now, she is the stereotype I mentioned before. Sad, been through a lot, has a hard time with happy, but she holds all of that on the inside. On the outside she is just cool. Just, John Travolta in Grease, Patrick Swayze in the Outsiders, cool.

I’m rather shocked to be honest, I never thought I’d see the day but she is the other half of my spectrum. I am romantic to a fault. Love never fails, it’s all for love, believe in love…all of that. She is a love is Santa Clause for adults, be a realist, kind of person. She balances me out, and balances my writing out. We are working on some things together, just hashing out ideas right now, but they are going to be good. I can already tell. She’s into screenplays and such and with her unyielding pessimism and my undying optimism, it should be just my kind of verbal schizophrenia.

Win all three of my books!!!

2010-09-28T04:11:00.000-07:00

Check out my interview with Renee Vincent, author of the Emerald Isle Trilogy. Comment for a chance to win all three eBooks!

http://pasttheprint.blogspot.com/2010/09/interview-and-contest-with-author_27.html

Does anyone know who 'they' are?

2010-09-24T12:13:00.000-07:00

I often wonder who came up with the standards people tend to follow. For instance, who decided that shit was a bad word? And who said that teenagers can’t fall in love or that only those of us that can do very long division in our heads are smart? Where did these standards come from? More importantly, why do we all just arbitrarily accept things that ‘they’ said? Who in the sam hell are ‘they’? Anytime someone needs justification to an outlandish statement they can just look someone in the face and say, “Well, that’s what they say.” The kneejerk reaction of the person who hears that? Oh yes, well.. then it must be true if they say it.

Where am I going with all of this? Well, I’m about enough of doing things just because they said or because it’s a standard accepted practice.

I will never EVER purchase or build a home with tile anywhere near the shower. It mildews when it comes in contact with water, it shouldn’t be in the bathroom.

The next person that tells me young people don’t know what love is I’m going to smack over the top of the head with the pages and pages of statistics on divorce. Apparently grown-ups don’t know what the hell it is either.

Just because I didn’t graduate from college and have a hard time remembering what the square root of pie is, doesn’t mean I’m not smart and don’t deserve a job/raise/respect.

Yes, I was raised in the south, no I’m not prejudice and yes I drink sweet tea. Get over it.

Though my vocabulary is quite copious, I will use shit or damn if I think it completes my sentence and further drives home my point with the intended recipient.

I don’t like socks or pantyhose and will no longer force the lower half of my body to suffer for cosmetic reasons.

I will shamelessly carry my 22 different Coach bags. I work hard. I deserve a damn purse.

I encourage you to join me in my endeavors. Stop doing things just because they say and do them because you say!

That is all.

Sarah's Fate

2010-09-01T10:46:00.000-07:00

Do you hear it? The drum roll that is growing louder and louder… or perhaps that’s just in my head. Wouldn’t be the first time! Today marks the release of the third and final novel in the Maldito Series, Sarah’s Fate. I still can’t believe that I’m a published author. I was perched on the edge of insecurity for about a year, expecting my publisher to call and say they changed their minds at any moment. But, a call never came and here we are, three books later.

Being an eAuthor is hard and I think being an eAuthor of YA is even harder because the vast majority of your audience doesn’t have the ability to purchase things online. On the flip side, I do think young people are more open to the thought of ebooks as they have only known this technological world and think it normal to live your entire life online-including reading a book.

I still long to be in print. There are so many people that look at me with strange expressions when they ask where they can get my books and I say online. They kind of give me the, ohhh, it’s not a real book, look. I do have a few folks in my life that think I’m awesome and have totally encouraged me the whole way. My friend and now boss, Kathryn who was the one that said I should make it a goal to be published by the time I was 30 and not to give up when I started getting the dreaded rejections letters! My friends, Courtney, Alissa, and Maria who have read and purchased all of the books, my friend Heather who gave me the courage in the first place and my sister who continues to be there for me and remind me that I don’t suck when I start to think that I do. My one and only far away fan, Trevor who never fails to say exactly what I need to hear and Chris and Sarah for continuing to give me material to put in my books. These are the people that never let me down, that are there for me no matter what and never let me give up.

I hope that you will see my name on your local bookstore shelves soon but for now, I’m just so thankful for the opportunity to share my world with everyone. I hope you have as much fun here as I do. =)

Sarah’s Fate:
http://www.devinedestinies.com/shopdevine/index.php?page=shop.product_details&category_id=24&flypage=ebook_flypage&product_id=1205&option=com_virtuemart&Itemid=69

Win an iTunes gift card!

2010-08-29T06:49:00.000-07:00

Check out my 1st guest blog post over with Kim at Book Butterfly Reviews. Comment and win an iTunes gift card! =)

http://butterflybookreviews.blogspot.com/2010/08/guest-post-with-christy-trujillo-author.html

Snap Decisions

2010-08-26T03:34:00.000-07:00

I’ve always been a spur of the moment, first gut instinct is always the best, just do it, kind of girl. You know, the kind that bought the first wedding dress she tried on or house she looked at. The kind that makes a decision and just goes with it. Sometimes, this is a good quality. Like when I decided to write a book and when I decided to try to get published. Clearly good decisions. OTHER TIMES, like last night when I decided to color my hair, stopped at Target, let my 7 year-old help me pick out a color, came home and promptly turned my hair a lovely shade of navy blue…not so much.

I’ll pause here for laughter…

Yes, that’s right. Navy blue. I mean, it’s just hair and I’ve already called my boss and let her know I was going this morning to get it fixed. But really, I feel this is a much deeper problem for me and quite a few other folks. I don’t think things through. I don’t pause and say, is this really a good idea or is there a better way to do this? I think today’s fast paced environment has cost us the right to be indecisive. We are told to get it done and to be quick about it. But I say, stop people. Take your time. Unless we are talking about administering life-saving medication/medical care, whatever the problem is can wait for you to decide what the best resolution will be. Whatever the whim, it can wait for you to properly think it through, and hell, you can even go ahead and change your mind a few times because ultimately, we are the ones pushing ourselves to be faster, better, stronger. While I am a fan of the better and stronger, I think we should lay off the faster.

Slow and steady wins the race. Yet again, my mother was right.

Wait Till Helen Comes

2010-08-21T16:29:00.000-07:00

When I was in..oh I think it was about fourth grade the mobile book fair came to my school. I remember the smell of new books mixing with fumes from the bus when I stepped in. I had read a few things before that, I think perhaps a Judy Bloom novel or two. My eyes scanned the rows and I was just about to settle for a unicorn bookmark when the cover of a book caught my eyes. It was Wait Till Helen Comes by Mary Downing Hahn. I had to have it.

“It’s going to scare you,” my teacher told me.

And holy crap she was right. It scared the crap out of me and God help me, I loved it. Every second of it. Every word and flip back to the cover to study the little ghost girl’s profile, making sure I had the right images in my head because that’s where the story was playing out. The words were making a movie in my head.

That pretty much did it for me. There was no turning back. I read everything I could get my hands on and yes, I had a tendency to get my hands on the paranormal books. To this day, I can’t pass up the opportunity to be scared half to death, whether it is by a movie, or the movie in my head. If you ask me if I believe in ghosts I will say no. Do I believe in the paranormal sightings people claim to have? No. But I want to and I wish I did.

Maybe that’s why I write about these things. Because I hope that one day, it won’t be fiction I am writing. I’ll be telling a true story, that happened to me.

My 2 Cents

2010-08-10T04:57:00.000-07:00

During the editing process for Emmy’s Heart, I learned that adverbs should be kept to a minimum. In fact, I had so many in my first draft that she highlighted every single word that ended with ly and I had to go back and rework the sentence. I did it, of course. I’m new at this whole author thing and appreciate all the help I can get. But I’m here to ask you, what is wrong with adverbs. I love them. Ask anyone I know, I use them all the time. I use them so much my son has picked them up.

Me: Cam, are you done with your chicken nuggets?
Cam: Clearly.

And now all of the people who think their writing is better than everyone else’s will be saying that you shouldn’t write the way you speak and blahh, blahh, blahh. Last time I checked, writing was a form of expression. A way to put your soul out there, a way to fulfill a never ending compulsion to spill your guts to random strangers. So why can I not add in words that I like? It just gets my goat when I read people smashing the way others write. A great deal of the writing community is what I have classified as writing snobs. So quick to criticize someone for having too many adverbs, or telling and not showing. You want to know what the really funny part is? 99% of the writing snobs that I know, are NOT published. So let me get this straight? You, who are not published want to say there is something wrong with a book that has sold millions of copies? The only time it’s okay to do that is in a crit group where someone has flat out said, help me, I need your opinion. Because, folks, when it comes right down to it, great writing is a matter of opinion. Numbers are black and white. Words are gray. There are fifteen ways to say something and ten to spell it. One person can read something and think it is crap while another will have tears streaming down their face at the perfection of it all.

We all have our opinions and more often than not, they are welcomed and appreciated, especially from one writer to another. But perhaps sometimes, people just need to be encouraged.

Charlie St. Cloud

2010-07-31T18:53:00.000-07:00

As someone who hasn’t read the book (yet, I just got it to read) the movie was amazing. To me, it was one of those move you, deep down in your soul, make you appreciate the things you have, kind of movies. I cried a lot, happy and sad tears but I’m an emotional gal. My husband thought it was okay, he isn’t really into anything that doesn’t involve someone getting drunk, shot, or knocked out so he doesn’t really count. I don’t want to give anything away but know, that you will walk out of the theater happy.

I’ve already started the book and see some major differences. But isn’t that the way of it? That’s what happened with Eclipse. It’s like they (as in Hollywood) think the general American public won’t appreciate the stories that were originally told. Hell, maybe they wouldn’t but if anyone ever wants to make a movie out of my books, they aint ‘changen shit. ;)

Even more noteworthy than the plot was the performance of Zach Effron. Mark my words people, he is the next Johnny Depp. Someone who started as just a pretty face and ended up being this phenomenal actor. I saw him in 17 Again and thought he did a great job in that but this, well…he was Charlie. He has all the makings of the perfect actor. Timing, believability, and a face you would pay money to look at for an hour whether he spoke or not.

Real Love

2010-07-26T17:09:00.000-07:00

I don’t know what the process is for other writers. I don’t know if they plan every word, every situation, but I don’t. In the beginning, I didn’t even outline. Christopher said I should make one, just so I know what I want to accomplish in each chapter. That was probably the best writing advice I’ve had to date. That and to put your work away for a week before you proof it. Anywho, when I am writing, especially dialogue, it is literally a movie in my head. I don’t know what the characters are going to say to each other, it just comes out…pours out sometimes. Here is what came today that I read back and was like, yeah, that’s good shit. LoL Set up – Sarah has just found out that Andres is not who has been saying he is and he didn’t have the guts to tell her the truth so he just let her walk out of his life. His best friend and business partner Abby has walked in on him having a mental breakdown and here is her advice:

“So, I’m leaving,” I told her. “I am leaving this place and this life. There isn’t anything holding me here. Not anymore.”
“Wow, that is some deep shit,” she mused, making me laugh in spite of my misery. “I knew something was going on with you, you’ve been…different.”
“Yes, I’ve been delusional. That’s over now.”
“Could you be any denser?” she asked me. “You’ve been in denial. This pain you feel, this hurt, it’s called love. People say real love isn’t supposed to hurt. That’s bull shit. Real love will rip you apart, eat you for lunch, and spit out the pieces it didn’t like. Real love will tear you apart from the inside out and leave you for dead. And then by some miracle, it will put you back together and make everything right. But you’re not giving it the chance to do that. What you’re doing is giving up. I haven’t ever thought of you as a coward. Not once. Yet here you are, running away like a coward. Running away from what? From the beat of your heart?” She shifted her weight to her knees and scooted closer to me on the floor. I felt her hand on my chest and I looked up to meet her gaze. “You’ve been living this life that you thought was complete but it wasn’t. You fight these battles but you never really win them because battles are won or lost in the heart. Are you so ready to forfeit this battle, Andres? Damnit! At least don’t give up without a fight.”
“What am I supposed to do, Abby? It’s done. It’s over. I lost.”
“It’s not over until someone’s dead,” she said.
“Well…” I started to point out that I was technically already dead but she took her hand from my chest and slapped me on top of the head.
“You know what I mean…”

The part about real love, I don’t even know where that came from but I’ll be damned if it’s not the truth.

~Sarah’s Fate, 9/1/10

Yeah, I'm kind of in love.

2010-07-19T13:42:00.000-07:00

2010-07-15T15:52:00.000-07:00

That, is a freaking lot.

The Ramblings of a Mad Writer

2010-07-08T17:57:00.000-07:00

I am writing. I swear. I now have two windows open and one contains my almost halfway finished novel, the other this blog that will consist of my rambling thoughts. Sarah, the main character in the last installment of the Maldito series, refuses to listen to me. Like, she just keeps showing up in places she shouldn’t be. Shall I explain? I am writing a duel, 1st person POV thing with Sarah as an MC and Andres as the other. I have (had) a chapter by chapter outline and it clearly stated that in Chapter 10 (Andres) Sarah was NOT to be in it at all and yet she shows up at the bar Andres is at, tracking down bad guys, because he didn’t call her back. This, as you can imagine, makes it very difficult for me because God knows I can never hit the backspace key unless my editor tells me to. Like... well… here read this. *Warning*, speaking of my lovely editor, she is yet to see this so shhhhh, I don’t want to hear about the commas. I hate them. She puts them in later.

I was about to turn and leave when I caught sight of her. I felt sick, upset, furious, and hysterical all in the same moment. Stupid human emotions, I thought remembering why I didn’t miss having them. She was standing beside the bar, overtly flirting with the bartender who was eyeing her as if she were a piece of meat. Her hair was different, cut in a short style that exposed her long neck. One side was tucked precariously behind her ear. My God, she was beautiful. I stalked over to her, very nearly knocking several people over in my haste.
“What are you doing here?” I asked her though my clenched teeth.

Though her smile never faltered, I could see the flash of hurt across her face. She took my tone as annoyance, or something of the sort. I rushed to correct her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way,” I began. I was yelling. One had to yell to be heard over the music, but it was still only loud enough for her to hear.

She cut me off, managing to be heard by not only myself but quite a few people in the area. “Well, if you would ever call anyone the hell back I wouldn’t have to beg Abby to tell me where you were but never mind. I can see I’ve made a mistake.”

She flew past me, heading for the door. I would not chase after her. I needed to stay where I was. I wasn’t any closer to finding out about the vamp changing people in my city, or the human trafficking than I had been on Sunday when I witnessed the disgusting scene. Keen’s was the common connection. I was sure of it. Turning my body away from her, I leaned on the counter. And stayed there for a solid three seconds.

Damn this infernal woman.

See what I’m saying? She wasn’t supposed to be there. Reading that back, I don’t like the part about the human trafficking. It’s not flowing right. That’s what it is though. Anyone know a better way to say that? Ughh.

On a personal note, I find myself rather stable in my life. Generally happy and content. While this is good for my soul, it has been reeking havoc on my ability to write. Go figure. Once this book is done, I am going to finish Fireflys I think. Or perhaps Gemini. That one is going to be good. I’ll really have to plan that one though. And since Courtney is the main character of that one (and Timeless Love) she will HAVE to listen to me. Hehehehehehehe.

Sia, My Love. Listen to it. Right now. That is all. ~night~

Eclipse Review....

2010-06-30T16:25:00.000-07:00

Let me start off by saying this is just the opinion of one girl and I am aware that others may feel differently. Opinions welcome.

Overall, I would give Eclipse 3 out of 5 stars. The movie alone was good. The effects were great, the action was edge of your seat, and the romance was steamy. But as a movie based on my favorite book ever, in the history of EVER, it fell flat for me. The first fifteen minutes of the movie covers the first twelve chapters of the book. To me, it was rushed and they didn’t allow the dynamics between Bella, Edward, and Jacob to build as much as they could have. They left out the first ‘bed scene’ and that is one of my favorite parts of the book. Also, it is impossible to watch this movie and not fall in love with Jacob. He is totally different in the book, almost like a whiney, annoying little kid. In the movie, he is funny, suave, debonair, and oh...so…HOT. They very much downplay Edward and his compassion and utter admiration towards Bella. I never once faltered in the series, Team Edward 100%. Watching the movies, I’m Team Jacob, or maybe it’s Team Taylor. That would make more sense.

At the end of the day, I am and always will be a fan of the series but I am not particularly happy with the commercialization of it all. They have gotten away from the heart of the matter and that is the love between Bella and Edward. All of the other stuff that happens is just background noise. Her words, the words that Stephenie wrote in that book, are what moved me to my core and what will stay in my heart for the rest of my life. I like seeing the characters represented on the big screen but they haven’t lived up to the beautiful love story that played in my head when I read the books. Here’s hoping Breaking Dawn will be better.

New York, New York

2010-06-24T06:30:00.000-07:00

I’m sitting in the window seal of my hotel room on the thirty-second floor of The Grand Hyatt in New York. The window opens just enough to let the noise from the streets and a small breeze come through and I feel the wind blow my hair while I listen to the horns honk.

It is my first trip to New York.

I had to work in the office all day today but yesterday Maria took me all over the city, to Central Park and on about fifteen different subways. This is her town. It reminds me of her even though she had to leave today. The fast pace, the drive. Everything about the city makes me think of her.

The weather is perfect. It feels like Florida during a cool snap in March. Crisp air with just enough of a chill to make the hair on your arms stand up. And the wind! I didn’t think there would be any wind but it whips around the buildings constantly blowing. I haven’t been overly impressed with the food and would probably let someone pull one of my fingernails out right about now for a glass of sweet tea and a slawdog but I will not leave without having some authentic New York cheese cake…damnit. I did, however, have the best time ever last night singing karaoke with the CMO of my company. Grease, Summer Loven. Oh yeah.

I’m having a good time but I could never live here. I’m a country girl at heart, wide open spaces and all that. I love falling asleep to the sound of a whippoorwill and waking to the morning sun peaking in over the trees. I like people that say “yes ma’am” when you ask them a question and “I’m sorry” when they run into you. I like dirt roads and bugs. A very wise (and handsome) man once said to me, “you have to be happy where you live and everything else will fall into place.” He speaks the truth. When I board the plane home tomorrow, I’ll be going back to what makes me happy. I’m sure I’ll be back, NYC. Try not to miss this country girl too much.

Inventory - take 2

2010-05-26T17:00:00.000-07:00

STOP. Before you continue, it is imperative that you read this or you will not understand a word I’m saying. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

http://christytrujillo.blogspot.com/2009/06/inventory.html

The question is… “Who am I?” The answer is of course very simple and was there all along. I am…me. The problem wasn’t that I didn’t know who I was, it’s that I didn’t like who I was. There was this person that would stare back at me from the mirror and I would cringe. You’re ugly, you’re stupid, you’re nothing, I would tell the girl. She never fought back and the abuse continued. Then the girl would foolishly turn to those around her and expect them to fix her. Being “Their daughter, her friend, his girlfriend, his wife, his mom” was just an excuse to avoid being the only thing I could be which was and is, MYSELF. Since this post I have published two novels and am currently finishing the third in my series. Fate has been a very large part of these books and somewhere in between Emmy’s Heart and the first few chapters of Sarah’s Fate I managed to find Christy’s courage. The courage to look within myself for happiness because, honey, the only person that can make you happy…I mean truly happy, is you. And before you can love someone else…I mean truly love them, you have to learn to love yourself. And I have. Do I still have my days? Of course. I’m still a girl. But now when I look around me I see my parents, and my BFF, and my honey, and my son and I am happy.

For my 31st birthday I have decided to get a tattoo of the word believe over the scar on my wrist. Why believe? Because that’s all we have. The only thing that cannot be taken away from us is our ability and capacity to believe. Believe in fate, in God, in love, in unicorns, in vampires. Without that, without something to hold onto and believe in, what are we? What do we have but empty spaces inside of us longing to be filled? So now when I’m brushing my teeth or putting on my Twilight bracelet I won’t see a scar. I’ll see my husband’s face, and my son’s smile. I’ll hear Maria laughing and Courtney talking in her funny guy voice, (you really should hear that, it’s hilarious) and think the words ‘published author’ because at the end of the day, I believe in me.

I will never forget my first love or the pain I felt and I’m glad. Because without that, without everything I’ve been through, what the hell would I write about? ;)

Hi, I’m Christy. I’m a published author with a “gift for tense and revealing dialogue” (I didn’t write that, it’s from a review of Emmy’s Heart) and more stories to tell. I’m the mother of a great kid and the wife of a very hardworking man. I’m friends with some amazing girls (and guys) and am happy to say, have stopped abusing the girl in the mirror. It's nice to meet you.

Update...

What a wonderful, amazing, very good day

2010-04-18T14:33:00.000-07:00

I had the honor of meeting Ashley Greene today. She was in town for a friend’s wedding and came to the Kimberly Clarke Salon to get her hair done with the other girls. They were all so nice and the bride looked like an honest to goodness Angel when she was leaving, her long blonde hair flowing behind her in perfect ringlets. It was a fun, fun day.

I met the wonderfully talented Kim Clarke through a fabulous woman named Courtney Sellers. Kim’s salon is THE place to get your hair done in Jville and I watched her make Ashley’s hair look as good as it ever has in any movie. She is truly an artist and I am blessed to have met both of these wonderful ladies. When Kim told me that Ashley would be coming in, I asked if it was okay if I came up there to give her copies of my books and she agreed. I didn’t tell a soul (well except Maria) because I didn’t want word to get out that she would be there and pandemonium to break out on Herschel Street! I’ve been so nervous about it. And even thought it wasn’t going to happen for a while but all of my fretting was in vein. All of the girls in the bridal party were so sweet and everyone had a blast.

Ashley arrived a little after everyone and was a ray of sunshine from the moment she walked in the room. Her friends clearly adore her and she is loyal and grateful for them. She was down to earth, funny, and just genuinely happy to be a part of her friend’s wedding. When the limo arrived to pick the girl’s up, I asked her if it was okay if I gave her something. She said of course it was. I gave her a bag with both of my books and a letter I wrote her explaining what they were. She was so nice and said she was happy to have something to read on the plane back to LA. She was extremely gracious when everyone started asking to take pictures with her. And let me tell you, she is even more beautiful in person. She is amazing.

I don’t know if she’ll Tweet about my books, but I am truly happy to just have had the chance to meet her. I hope she becomes the most successful actress this world has ever seen. I encourage everyone to support her in every endeavor. Purchase multiple copies of every magazine that is lucky enough to have her grace its pages, see any movie she is in more than once, and then purchase it on DVD.
There are few people in this world that you meet who are ‘symmetrically’ beautiful. People who are as beautiful on the inside, as they are on the out in such a manner that those around them can’t deny it. All the women I mentioned in this blog, Kim Clarke, Courtney Sellers, and Ashley Greene, posses that quality.

What a wonderful, amazing, very good day.

Indifference

2010-04-15T13:12:00.001-07:00

Staring at blank pages, watching them stare back at me, laughing, mocking.
They were right, you can’t do this. Who are you kidding?
They taunt me, the stark white empty spaces dismissing anything I try to add to their pristine perfection.
So I stare. My heart is breaking.
Under the surface of my imperfection, the perfect words hide. Behind my wall of self-doubt and cynicism. If I could just find them, pull them from their hiding, surely the pristine emptiness would allow me to fill it.
But the wall will not crumble,
And the perfect words stay hidden behind my imperfection.
So I stare. My heart is broken.

The Affect Someone Can Have

2010-03-28T17:41:00.000-07:00

It is utterly incomprehensible to me the affect that one single person can have on your life. We go along, meandering though our existence, and then ‘they’ are there. They change things, maybe the way you look at things, or the way you feel about things, but they change you. Inside. Your life swivels this way and that, as they become your sun, your center. Or maybe, they are just there when you need them. When you are sad and need some positive reinforcement and encouragement. But still, your life is changed. Forever altered by the fingerprint they have left on you. No, this doesn’t have to be someone you are romantically involved with. It doesn’t even have to be someone… real. As long as they are real to you. Sometimes they become permanent additions to your life and sometimes they are meant to be a passing star, only staying long enough to leave us a little of their light for our own dark journeys. Fate. That’s all I can say. Fate has a plan, and we may veer off course with the choices we make but she will call us back to the path we are meant for, even if she has to use those around us to do it. In case you are wondering, my path is to be a writer, and I will write of you. Because you had an effect on me.

For the love of books...

2010-03-23T06:00:00.001-07:00

I think I have been looking at this whole ‘being an author sucks because no one will ever say these things to me’ thing the wrong way. Yeah, I’m pretty positive that no one is ever going to chase me down and run my car off the road to profess their love to me while Angel by Aerosmith plays in the background but you know, that’s okay. Because at least, I have my daydreams right. And you know what? Every female character I write is me. There’s just no getting around that. And I don’t know if that’s normal or not but it is what it is for me. I tried to write from someone else’s point of view and it just didn’t work. And with a good book, a really good book, you are always that character in your head. Okay, well, I am. And it’s recently been pointed out and proven to me that I’m not even close to normal. So, again, maybe that’s just me but I’m okay with that. So in essence, all of these things are happening to me. All of these wonderful things are being said to me. Some people go their whole lives and never hear these things and weren’t blessed with the imagination and creativity I was to hear them in my head and then construct a beautiful story around them to share with others. I...am lucky, as it turns out. I am lucky that I can experience these things and have these memories in my heart. I am lucky that no matter how many times I’m hurt, I don’t close myself off to love and what it can really do for you. Is fate real? You better believe it honey, and it swirls around me, throwing my long brown hair in three different directions every time I sit down at my computer to write. So, that is what I will do. Write. And if by chance, someone ever does happen to say any of these things to me, sing to me, love me like this, well, then that’s just a bonus.

Have a great day everyone! =)

Who am I to say?

2010-03-14T17:01:00.000-07:00

Who am I to say anything? Who am I to say what I want, what I need? Who am I to say if I can live without you? Who am I? I’m just me.

Who Am I to Say by Hope

Love of my life, my soulmate
You're my best friend
Part of me like breathing
Now half of me is left

I don't know anything at all
Who am I to say you love me
I don't know anything at all
& who am I to say you need me

Color me blue I'm lost in you
Don't know why I'm still waiting
Many moons have come & gone
Don't know why I'm still searching

Don't know anything at all
& who am I to say you love me
I don't know anything at all
& who am I to say you need me

Now you're a song I love to sing
Never thought it feels so free
Now I know what's meant to be
& that's okay with me
Don't know anything at all
& who am I to say you love me
I don't know anything at all
& who am I to say you need me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGzHl0u9EsI

Soul Mate

2010-03-08T11:30:00.000-08:00

I read once that the notion of a soul mate comes from Greek mythology. “Originally humans were combined of four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces, but Zeus feared their power and split them all in half, condemning them to spending their lives searching for the other half to complete them.” I don’t know if I buy it. I want to. I want to feel like there is that one person who can make you feel complete and fulfilled but I just…don’t. Love is too fickle. Too many things can change over the years, over the course of your relationship with another to depend on someone else for that. We need to complete ourselves and then if someone else wants to be the icing on our perfectly baked cake, then sure. Why the hell not? I asked a few people if they bought the whole soul mate thing. It was about 50/50 to be honest. My logical friends, the ones that don’t cry at movies or believe in fairytales of course said no. My other friends, the ones that are usually more like me, dreamers…passionate…hopeful… they all said yes, without a doubt. I don’t know if I’m with them on this one. We come into this world alone and we leave alone. Perhaps, that’s how it was meant to be. We should rest in the harbor of our own souls and hearts, not interfering with others. We shouldn’t be taught that someone will love us with a love so strong it can stand the test of time, because we won’t. We shouldn’t trust our emotions because they are foolish and we shouldn’t listen to our heart because it is blind. Though, if given the choice between being a calm harbor or an ever sailing ship searching for her captain, I think I would take my chances at sea. Yes, the water is rough at times and nights at sea can be lonely but what is a ship for if not to sail? And what is a heart for if not to love? I don’t know if the concept of a soul mate is something to believe in or not, but love and the ability to give and receive it is. My sister read my palm and told me I have two soul mates out there somewhere. Maybe one day…they will find me or maybe, just maybe, they have already sailed past me.

'About Me'

2010-02-22T18:41:00.000-08:00

My name is Christina Lee Ralaine Babich Trujillo. No, I didn’t legally keep the Babich but I’m my daddy’s daughter, that’s for sure. People say I’m a little crazy. If they mean crazy as in, not afraid to say what she thinks or ask for what she wants, then yeah, I’m a little crazy. I’m a published author with Devine Destinies out of Canada. The first two books in my series are currently available through Devine Destinies/Amazon/Fictionwise and some other random ebook websites I’ve never heard of. The final book will be out fall 2010. I work for a major staffing firm as a Sales Coordinator and I love my job though I would happily give it up to be a full-time author. Though I am friends with everyone, it is rare that I truly connect with anyone. My brain works on a different frequency than most. You listen to music and hear.. music. I hear the soothing melodies wound around words that cut my soul in half. You read a book and it’s..words. I read a book and my subconscious falters and the line between fiction and reality blurs leaving me breathless and gripping for dry land. If I have loved you, I will love you forever. Even if I tell you that I don’t anymore, even if I tell you I hate you, it’s a lie. Once I have given my love, I cannot rescind the offer, though I wish I could sometimes. In the same token, if you have been on the unfortunate receiving end of my actual and total hate, you will never redeem yourself and it is best to just leave me be. I am a touchy-feely person and hug people I just meet. It doesn’t take a lot to hurt my feelings but it takes a hell of a lot to make up for it once you have. I love my cats. I long to be… content. (See Chase’s blog for the reference) I believe in vampires. That is all. Ask me if you want to know anything else. I'll tell you.

In another life..

2010-02-20T19:27:00.000-08:00

In another life, we are happy. In another life, things are bright and the sky is always blue, even at night. If tears come, they are tears of joy and shared by all. If words are spoken, they are out of love and from the heart.

In another life, you caught me when I fell and I never hit the ground. My body was never broken; my heart still beats and does not lie motionless at my feet.

In another life, your smile can call the angels and they sit with us under the endless blue sky. They laugh with us and we know that nothing will ever change the way things are.

In another life, it wasn’t so hard to find peace in a chaotic soul. The world moves together, the ocean is her melody, the sky is her harmony, and we were all born knowing the words. We sing at the top of our lungs, unafraid and unashamed, and we are one.

In another life, you love me, and all is right with the world. But that is another life.

Things I have come to realize

2010-02-16T07:51:00.001-08:00

Yeah, I’m a little crazy. Whatever.

No one will ever make me go “awwww” with words that they say to me. It’s just not going to happen. I need to let it go.

There are certain desires I have that will never EVER be satisfied.

God sent Maria to me to keep me from diving my car off of the road.

I will never be happy with my hair. I complain when it is short, I complain when it is long.

Even though my eyes are not green or blue, they are pretty.

If you are not an NYT best selling author, you will never get real credit for being an author.

Not everyone is like me, and it’s a damn shame.

It’s better in Bryceville. Sorry, but it is.

When I really love someone, I love them forever. (This sucks, btw)

When I really hate someone, I hate them forever. (This, I’m okay with)

I don’t like candy harts.

2010-02-15T04:38:00.000-08:00

Video #2

2010-02-12T14:18:00.000-08:00

Ohh look, I made a video =)

2010-02-09T04:36:00.000-08:00

Go here if you can't see the video : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TW7GFJSlx5Y

I am the only me

2010-02-08T13:50:00.000-08:00

Being my husband has got to be the toughest job on the planet. No, I’m not mean and I clean and wash clothes (I do not cook for various reasons) and tend to be fairly accommodating but I am really, REALLY demanding in the romance department. There is nothing he or anyone for that matter, can say to me or do for me that I haven’t already thought of and written in a book or a rough draft of a book. Really, he just can’t make me happy in that department. The last time I actually went AWWWW, was the fist time I heard, Most Uncommon Thing by Five Times August, though I had to give up on anyone ever saying that to me. (Okay, there was this one other time but it doesn’t count because he didn’t mean it…something about caring for me on a deeper level BS!) I don’t know what I expect. For him to spout sonnets? To have romantic dinners and lavish vacations? As English was not his first language, sonnets are out of the question and thanks to our kid and child support for his other kids, we don’t have the money for a vacation. I just want.. someone.. to say something to me that moves me. That pushes my heart down and forces my breath to catch in my lungs. Why is that too much to ask? Unfortunately, I have never met anyone like myself. Even the other authors I know seem to have their heads out of the clouds and their feet firmly planted on the this-is-reality-that-is-fiction soil. People just don’t say the things I do, or think the things I do.. or even want the things I do. Lately, I’m stuck in between being a hopeless romantic and an unyielding cynic. Romantic because in my heart, I still am. Cynic because in my head, I know it’s crap. All of it. Things don’t turn out the way they do in my books, people don’t love people the way they do in my books, and people just don’t say the things to each other that they do in my books. Sad.

2010-01-30T17:17:00.000-08:00

It's my first try at a book trailer. Yeah, harder than I thought!=)

Go here if you can't see the video - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YY9BpkXjKg0

Giving up on Fate

2010-01-25T12:46:00.000-08:00

I don’t think I believe in fate anymore. In the past, I’ve always been fate’s biggest fan, boasting how you should ‘have a little faith in fate,’ and how ‘things will work out as they should.’ Let’s be honest. That is complete and total crap. Life is what you make it. You can wake up and decided to be happy or you can wake up and decided to be sad. The people that you meet are just that. Random people that you meet. If you choose to bring them into your life then, yes, they will have an affect. But if you look past them, or ignore their pretty words, they will have no bearing on the overall outcome of your life. There is no fate, there are only decisions. Decisions we make everyday that mold our life, attitude, and relationships.

Now, is it just a tad bit ironic that the last book in my series…that I still have to write because I have a contract on it…is called Sarah’s Fate? Does anyone see the humor in that but me? I think I’m going to write something without a happy ending. Where the hero is a complete ass and the heroin gets her heart smudged all over the floor. That would be realistic. But then again, it’s fiction right? As in: not true, could never happen, totally and completely made up. So why not offer people an escape from their fateless, average, ordinary lives and write something where everything ends happy? Where the girl gets the boy and good triumphs over evil and money doesn’t make the world go around and it doesn’t matter if you are pretty because you will be loved for the person you are, not the reflection you cast in the mirror. Yes, that is what I will write. Because, in my heart, that is the way things are. It’s a shame that I am the only one that sees them that way.

Youth is Wasted on the Young

2010-01-11T10:00:00.000-08:00

Youth is wasted on the young. I used to get so aggravated when I heard this comment. How absurd. Why would anyone think that, there is a time to be young and a time to be old. Now that I’m not ‘young’ anymore, the truth behind these words is all too clear.

I can see both sides of the spectrum though; I remember what it was like to be young. I’m not one of those adults that will preach at kids/teens on the things they need to do and accomplish. But even if for one week, to be young again and have the concerns/worries that they do vs. the concerns/worries that I do, my heart would be a little lighter. The term I mention above refers to ones ability to take advantage of your current situation as most kids/teens do not. Someone is paying the bills for you, you have the opportunity to absorb all of the knowledge you can get your hands on, and you have yet to need to be concerned for anyone but yourself. OH.MY.GOD. Do you have any idea how good that sounds to me right now? If I could be in school, if I could have someone paying the bills for me, if I didn’t have to wake up and go to sleep worrying about the wellbeing of this six-year-old, wow. The things I could accomplish.

While youth isn’t literally wasted on the young, they deserve their chance to be that way; it is wasted on the unappreciative. Take advantage, pay attention, and have some fun, kids. It’s a whole different ballgame when you’re ‘old.’

Emmy's Heart

2010-01-06T06:17:00.000-08:00

I received the cover for the second book in my series yesterday. I love it! It’s really beautiful. Tina at Devine does a really good job with all of them, though. Not just mine.

I wrote something last night while putting the finishing touches on Emmy’s Heart and It moved me. Am I allowed to say that? It just came out. I didn’t think about it or think that I really needed something profound in this scene. That’s how I write though. I start with a chapter by chapter outline (thank you Chris) and then sit down and let the story play out in my head. This can often present problems as my characters tend to do their own thing and do NOT listen to me whatsoever. Anywho here it is:

“A thousand thoughts crossed my mind but none as strong as the thought of Cale. Above all, he was my reason for being. If the rest of the world fell away, along with everyone in it, I would survive if I still had him. But if he fell away, leaving behind the rest of the world, my heart would cease beating and my life would surely be over.”

Okay, it could just be me but, damn! I’ll admit it is a tad more powerful when read in context but clearly I’m not going to tell you what that is. You’ll have to get a copy of the book to find that out. The thing about it is.. I don’t think I love anyone that much. Even my Daddy (And ya’ll, let me tell ya, I love the hell out of my Daddy!) Sometimes, I wonder where the words come from. Another life perhaps where I sacrificed all for the sake of love? I often read what I’ve written and think, wow, I wish I had the nerve to do that or say that. Are all fiction writers like this or am I truly a most uncommon thing? (Well, no one else is going to say it to me, might as well say it to myself!)

~The Maldito Trilogy~
Emmy’s Song: Available through www.DevineDestinies.com
Emmy’s Heart: 2/15
Sarah’s Fate: Fall 2010

So......

2009-12-22T16:47:00.001-08:00

That is all.

Fate

2009-11-27T08:59:00.000-08:00

When it comes to matters of the heart, I honestly wonder if we have any say in it at all. Can we choose who to love or who to care about? Can we convince ourselves that someone is not the one, even if every fiber of our being is screaming that they are? If there is such a thing as fate, and some things are just meant to be, does that mean they’ll be easy? Should ‘fate’ take care of everything and bend time and space, no matter the consequences, to allow two people to be together?

Fate is a general them in all three of my books. Everything that happens in book one, sets up the events in book two and everyone you meet in book two, plays an integral role in book three, even though it is twenty years later. As a writer, forced to interconnect all these events, I am now more aware of them as I see them occur around me. But in real life, there aren’t always happy endings.

Twilight addiction/fascination/obsession

2009-11-04T08:05:00.000-08:00

Though I thought it had passed, I am slowly slipping back into my Twilight addiction/fascination/obsession. Don’t get me wrong, I never stopped being a fan and convincing everyone I held more than a two second conversation with to read the books, as they would change their lives, but I had passed the constant web browsing, daydreaming, and general distraction that it caused in my life for the first few months. Slowly, through fits of excitement over the movie, and gushing over listening to New Moon on CD, that behavior is seeping back into my life. I can’t help but wonder, is this what it’s like to be addicted to drugs? I crave it, the feeling of elation I get when I think of Edward and the rush of…we’ll call it adrenaline…I get when I see new pics of Rob.

My only comfort is that I’m not alone. I think I’m sort of the honorary president of our non-existing fan club with my circle of friends. They all come to me when they have new Twilight info. Pics/videos/articles. They all tell me immediately. Partly because they know I will want to know, and partly because they want someone else to have the reaction to said pics/videos/articles that they did. (I think, anyway)

“Why?” you ask. If you’ve never read the books then you need to. If you have read them and just didn’t 'get' it, get what all the fuss was about; let me break it down for you:

There are three kinds of people in this world.
1) Those who love Twilight

2) Those who hate Twilight (This doesn’t mean those that read it and thought it was ‘okay.’ They fall into category 1. This is for people that bash it online and say they hated it and didn’t get it)

3) The jerks that won’t even give it a chance. (Honestly #3 falls into a whole new category of stupid and that is another blog entirely…so we will focus on 1 and 2.)

People that love Twilight are passionate, loving people. They are able to step back from a situation, fictional or otherwise and appreciate its beauty. They are able to laugh at life’s funny moments and cry at the sad ones, not caring who may be watching for either. They are creative and insightful and tend to see the world in a rainbow of colors, rather than just black and white. I have never met a Twilight fan that I didn’t like.

On the other hand

I have found people that hate Twilight to be generally unhappy in their own lives and unable to find an inner peace that they have been searching for. They are closed off and find flaws with everything, make them up if they have to, so the rest of the world is as flawed as they feel on the inside. They have a hard time seeing the beauty in something that may not seem beautiful right away and are quick to relish in the misfortune of another. I have only met a handful of people that outright hated Twilight. I didn’t like, and do not speak, to any of them.

Those of you that know me, know that Twilight quite literally changed my life as it inspired me to write my recently published novel, ‘Emmy’s Song.’ The words were there, the story was there, but Twilight reached deep into my soul, in a place I hadn’t been to in a long time, and allowed harmony to flow through me and into the words on the page. I am now, and will remain for the rest of my life, a die-hard Twilighter and I don’t care who knows it.

Do you like my blog I ask today..try it and you may I say.

2009-11-02T13:04:00.000-08:00

It's Time To Protect The Children

2009-10-22T11:57:00.000-07:00

As I sat, fretting over my book sales on Monday, a little child was losing her life. Somer Thompson went missing Monday while walking home from school. Her body was found in a landfill Wednesday afternoon. As of right now, we don’t know the cause of death or what happened to her. There may be another explanation. An accident, perhaps, and someone panicked, tossing her lifeless body in the trash. The conclusion I jump to however, is much worse. A week earlier, a car with two men and a woman tried to take a five year old girl but she refused and a passerby helped. Obviously there was no one there to help Somer.

I am enough of this crap. How many innocent, precious children are going to have to suffer before we as a society say, enough is enough. How many times will we hear the term ‘repeat sex offender’ before we realize whatever we are doing, isn’t working?

When I first moved to ‘the big city’ from Bryceville, I was the only child that lived in our subdivision. The bus refused to come into the subdivision so I had to wait on the main road. I began to notice the same car drive by every morning but didn’t think too much of it as there was a lot of construction still going on. Then one day, the car stopped. The male driver asked me a question and I leaned in to hear what he said. To my twelve-year-old surprise, he was naked and fondling himself. I screamed and he drove away. The bus came soon after and the police were called. He was apprehended the next day (on his way to my bus stop) and admitted to everything. He was sentenced to ‘probation’ and I never heard from him again. Do you have any idea how much worse that could have been? Do you have any idea how close I came to being one of those little girls?

This is my call for action. I have begun research online regarding school transportation and possible bus re-routes. I am starting a blog that will focus on mom’s that have to work, asking for help from those that are blessed and don’t, to make sure their children get to and from school/bus stop safely. I am going to research the current FMLA laws and inquire as to a provision to protect women who have to get their children to school in the mornings. I don’t know what else to do but something has to be done. If not us, then who? If not now, then when? Please send me an email at mrs.trujillo18@yahoo.com if you are interested in getting involved.

Long Time No Blog

2009-10-10T16:45:00.000-07:00

Welp, release day was fun. And just incase you are wondering, Brad won the contest. I’ve been trying to finish up the second book, promote the first book, take care of my family, and do my regular job. It’s been pretty..interesting. The publisher wants to put Emmy’s Heart out 1/1/10 so this is the first time I’ve ever written with a deadline. It’s definitely a different experience. For instance, I should probably be writing right now. But as you can see, I’m not. I know what I want to say, I know what I want to happen, it’s just not flowing. In my defense, I have been very sick (upper respiratory infection and neck spasms) so that may have something to do with it. It could also be that I really want to finish up this other thing I’m working on called True North. It’s a shape-shifter thing..more middle grade. The main characters have just turned sixteen so it’s more PG than The Maldito Series.

Cameron has his friend spending the night..first sleep over. Good times.

That’s all for now.

Happy Release Day to Me…

2009-10-01T06:35:00.000-07:00

Yea, it’s finally here! :) In honor of my new release Emmy’s Song, I will be giving away a $15.00 iTunes Gift Card. It’s easy to enter. Just post a comment to this blog and tell me, If your life was a song, what would be its title? Like, mine would be ..Published Author, Oh Yeah…or something like that. To make it fair, I will not be choosing the winner. My friend/boss/brother Chris Pruitt will be picking the cleverest title. (He’s a tough critic so dig deep people!) You have until 11:59 pm to post a comment and I will announce the winner tomorrow. GOOD LUCK!

Oh, and just incase you are interested, here is the link to purchase Emmy’s Song! :)

http://devinedestinies.com/shopdevine/index.php?page=shop.product_details&category_id=16&flypage=ebook_flypage&product_id=521&option=com_virtuemart&Itemid=52

First Reviews for Emmy’s Song

2009-09-30T09:24:00.000-07:00

As promised, here are the first two reviews of Emmy’s Song. I am happy to say, I think they liked it. ;)

First Reviews for Emmy’s Song
~Provided by Howling Good Books

For all you Twilighters, you will love this tale. From the beginning I thought I knew exactly where this was heading. Girl meets boy, falls in love with boy, finds herself in mortal danger, boy rescues her from said danger. Well I was proven that even though I have read numerous books with those guidelines that that is not all there is to it. Though I wished for something completely out of the molding, I did enjoy the beginning to this series. I would recommend this to the older teen, due to some sensual moments.
~ Teen Reviewer

Emmy’s Song by Christy Trujillo intrigued me from the get go. As I read it started to remind me of Twilight, but with a slight Spanish flair that, to me, added a little more intrigue. I enjoyed the very differences that distinguished this from Twilight. For me it was less emo, maybe because the main female character seems to have her life planned out. She wants more out of her life than just to be part of a couple, she has actual plans. Her love and pride of her family also make Emmy stand out in my mind. I look forward to seeing more of the Maldito series, and hope to learn more of these interesting factions of Vampire Hunters in the future. Although the main characters are in High School and in their teens because of the sensual images within Emmy’s Song I do suggest this as a more mature young adult reader, 16 and up.
~Nicole, Owner, Howling Good Books

Happy Friday! (6 more days)

2009-09-25T07:02:00.000-07:00

Published Author. Man, that just has a ring to it. I still can’t believe it. I keep waiting for my EIC to say something like, “Oh I’m sorry sweetie. We made a mistake.” But..they seem to still like it. I must say, it is a much better book than it was when I submitted it. Their edits have been amazing and the rewrites I have made truly bring the story to life. Is it going to win any awards? No, probably not. Is anyone going to bow to my amazing literary skills? Hell to the no. BUT, it is a good story and adding relevant music, noting actual song and musician has never been done before. (To my knowledge)

The reviews. Oh, I just don’t even want to read them. I honestly didn’t even think about that part when I thought it would be a good idea to give this whole publishing stuff a shot. I just keep telling myself, if Twilight got some bad reviews, anything can get a bad review, no matter how wonderfully life changing the story is. (Yes, for those of you that don’t know I’m a HUGE Twilight fan. I was a fan back before it was cool to be a fan, too. I used to get teased at work and everything..until I made them all read the books!)

The music. You know how something happens to you and you are caught in this moment and in the back of your head you hear a song that would fit perfectly? That is what happens to Emmy throughout Emmy’s Song and Emmy’s Heart. She constantly has a song on repeat in her head and it changes based on her circumstance. Here is the ‘soundtrack’ for Emmy’s Song.

“Bring Him Home” from the musical Les Miserables

“Life Is a Highway” written and originally performed by Tom Cochrane. Remade by Rascal Flats

“He Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven” words written by William Yeats

“When You Love Someone” by Bryan Adams

“In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel

“Untouched” by The Veronicas

“The Air Force Song” by Robert MacArthur Crawford

Cale and Emmy’s song: “If the Moon Fell Down” by Chase Coy

“At Last” by Etta James

I hope you will give Emmy’s Song a chance. Starting 10/1, it can be purchased at:

http://www.devinedestinies.com/
http://www.amazon.com/
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/

Emmy’s Heart isn’t 100% finished yet so I am very open to suggestions on the story. If after reading Emmy’s Song you have a suggestion on the story send it over to emmylovescale@yahoo.com. I would love to hear your thought on the direction the story should go.

Have a great weekend everyone!

2009-09-05T19:02:00.001-07:00

Yeah, I'm a little Emo. So what? ;)

Spooky Town

2009-09-02T09:22:00.000-07:00

There is a town in Florida called Cassadaga. People travel from all over to visit this town. Not for a them park or a water park, nothing typical of the sunshine state. They travel to Cassadaga because it is a Spiritualist Camp where you can have your palm read, ora drawn, and cards dealt. About seven months ago a few friends and I decided to see what all the fuss was about so we packed up in a Honda CRV and headed down there. It was a fun trip, that’s for sure. We even had a theme song.. “Won’t you take me to..spooky town..” Haha, get it? Anyway, we get there and my friend Courtney pays for me to have a reading which I am thinking is a load of crap when I sit down with the lady. I like her right of the bat. She is funny and insightful. I feel like I am having a good conversation with a smart woman and getting good advice on my life. I still don’t believe she has said anything prolific. Then I ask her about my book. If I will ever get published. She immediately says yes. Now I’m thinking she is just trying to make me feel better because there is no way I will ever get published. She says the first one will be a flop. That it will get published but there will be something I write later that will speak to people. That will be my shining moment and then folks will come back to this book. She tells me to read The Shack, which is evidently about a man whose little girl is taken and murdered and then he goes to the shack where they find her body and talks to God. (I have a serious aversion to all that sort of stuff, it makes me sick to my stomach so I haven’t read that yet.) I smile, say thank you, and leave. Happy but not affected.

Well, here we are…and now I’m getting published. Dude. DUDE! Really, I didn’t think I would ever, ever, ever get published in any form. Kinda crazy. I guess I should read that book

Drum Roll Please…

2009-08-26T10:48:00.000-07:00

I got the cover for Emmy’s Song last night and I love, love it! I believe you can see it if you look to the left of these words. :) I am excited/shocked/overwhelmed and the dang thing isn’t even available to purchase yet!

So many wonderful folks helped me through the writing process that I truly feel they deserve some recognition. So here it is.

Sarah – Thank you for being the awesome friend that you are and letting me use your name. “It was you, you know. Everything good about me was you.” I meant it when I wrote it and I mean it now. I love you Pea.

Heather – This book is dedicated to you because without you, I would still be looking at the words on my computer screen and wondering if they would ever be good enough. When I am with you, I feel like I can conquer the world. Thank you for lending me some of the light inside of you and for being my first and number one fan.

Christopher – My teacher and toughest critic. I have learned more from you in the five years that I have had the pleasure of calling you friend than I did in the entire twenty-five years before. Thank you for letting me use your name and for being an amazing friend/brother/boss.

Bob Diforio – Thank you for introducing me to the world of publishing. You are an honest, kind, and wonderful man/agent. The time you spent with me when you didn’t have any time to spare is truly appreciated.

The entire Devine Destines crew – If ever there was a place where I have felt immediately welcomed and valued, it was within the Devine family. Jay, Tina, and the rest of the gang, I thank you for your patience with this fist time author and I hope I make you lots and lots of money! To my fellow Devine authors, you guys are the best!

What do you mean?

2009-08-23T07:02:00.000-07:00

“What do you mean?” Exactly what I just freaken said. It has come to my attention that the majority of society does not say what they mean. I on the other hand, do. I’m so sick of being asked, “Well, what do you mean?” What I just said. That’s what I mean. If I say you’re fat, I mean it. It I say I care about you, I mean it. If I say you are driving me crazy, I mean it. Why is that so hard to understand? Say what you mean and mean what you say people.

“O E-i-E’ Update

2009-08-21T07:07:00.001-07:00

It’s my first check in since the big epiphany the other day.

Positive things: I didn’t eat out again for lunch, am in a way better mood, started writing more, overall happiness level is on the rise.

Negative things: I didn’t do the stairs or exercise in any way, shape, form, or fashion. I didn’t play with Cam. (In my defense he spent a few nights at my mom’s house.) I did however already make plans with him for tonight. We are going to watch one of his movies while my husband is at work.

So overall, I would say it’s a good start for Operation Enough is Enough.

Operation Enough is Enough

2009-08-18T13:49:00.000-07:00

It has been quite a while since my last blog post. Life has been busy. That and I have been lazy, which stops today. In all aspects of my life. I have been in a slump, I’ll admit it. Down right good for nothing. Why you ask? I have no idea. Things are going great. I’m getting published, our debt management program is great, Cam has been pretty good..very little in the way of family drama as a whole..so I have no good reason for feeling like this. I am sleepy, or rather; all I want to do is sleep. I’ve even been lazy about cleaning. (I’ve always been an eat off the floor kind of gal) Today I say, enough is enough. Listed below are action items I plan to tackle immediately to move forward with the enough is enough plan. So we’ll call it ‘Operation Enough is Enough.’ Catchy, huh? :)

1)The stairs are my friend. I will run the stairs at work at least three times a week.
2)Going out to eat is going straight to my ass. Friday lunch out ONLY. (Damn you Orange Tree)
3)Cameron time. I will spend more time with Cameron doing what he wants to do.
4)Water. Drink it.
5)Life. Love it.

Well, I’ll let you know in a few days how this is all shaking out. Cross your fingers for me.

Disappointment

2009-07-10T11:04:00.000-07:00

Disappointment. What an ugly word. It even looks ugly what with the ‘point’ right in the middle endlessly ‘point’ing it’s finger right at you. But the truth is, disappointment is a fact of life. Just another one of those cold, hard realities that we must learn to face/overcome/learn from. The worst of all though, is when we are disappointed in ourselves. It’s one thing to look at a stranger and pass judgment on their actions. It is quite another to look in the mirror and face our saddened expression knowing we have royally messed up. Sometimes, there is a fix. Something you can take back or try to mend. Other times, it is the end of a chapter in your life and there is nothing left to do but accept the consequence and move on.

My only advice (though I can never take my own advice) would be, don’t beat yourself up over it. If you learned from it, if you will never ever look at yourself in the mirror facing the same disappointment, then you have grown as a person. If you know now, more than you knew then, perhaps it’s not disappointment that you feel at all. Perhaps, it’s growing pains.

“The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way.” ~ Robert Kiyosaki. Smart fella.

I’m a fate kind of girl

2009-06-30T13:49:00.000-07:00

I often wonder if we actually realize the affect we have on each other. When fate puts us in another person’s path, some would say there must be a reason. We need something from that person or we have some benevolent gift to give them. Some would say that it’s pure chance when two people meet, that there is nothing drawing us to one another or pulling us away. And as such, there is no great meaning in relationships. I’m a fate kind of girl. I like to believe that everything happens for a reason, maybe not the reason you wanted but a reason none the less. (That’s actually not mine, someone else told me that. It’s good though, right?) So looking back on your life, can you fathom how many people you have touched, affected, changed? There are probably a lot more than you know or ever will know.

My eleventh grade English honors teacher forever changed my life because she never took of for spelling. For the first time I was allowed to use the words I wanted to but didn’t (still don’t) know how to spell. And now I’m a writer. I bet she has no idea.

The preacher, whose name escapes me, who led the revival at the Baldwin Baptist Church forever changed my life and my relationship with God. I’m sure he doesn’t even remember me, I was seven.

My friend Amy Surrency (Nash now) touched my soul when we were in fifth grade. She was the first person that ever called themselves my best friend.

My friend Michele taught me how to be a grown up and always put things in ‘Christy terms’ which helped a lot. I think she does know that actually. ;)

My point is, all these people come in and out of our lives and we never get the chance to tell them what they mean to us. So take the time and tell someone. Tell them you love them, you never know. Maybe they love you too.

Inventory

2009-06-16T10:30:00.000-07:00

As I turn thirty (shudder) I take inventory of my life.

House, check
Husband, check
Child, check
Job, check
Book deal, check.

I should be jumping for joy and on my knees every second of every day thanking God for all the blessings in my life. And I am thankful. At the same time, I wonder who the heck I am. All my life I have been someone’s something. Their daughter, her friend, his girlfriend, his wife, his mom but never just me. I think I am myself when I write, but I write from the point of view of a seventeen year-old girl. Now what the heck does that say about me? I have a theory. (You know I love the theories!)

When I was seventeen, I loved a boy and music with all my heart. And I mean every last ventricle. (I love him still but that’s neither here nor there.) He loved me too, as much as a teenage boy can love someone. And music was my life. Chorus, Musical Theater, all of it. Things with the boy ended, I was betrayed by a ‘friend,’ and ended up in the auditorium with slit wrists. Yes I know, but that’s not the bad part. At the suggestion of a therapist, I was pulled out of chorus and enrolled into the work release program. That hurt more than losing him. And every day when I would leave, I had to walk past the chorus room and hear them singing. It was like a knife in my soul. I think it’s still there.

Anywho..my theory. I don’t think I ever changed emotionally again. I grew older, but in my head, I swear, I am still seventeen. Ask anyone I know and they will back this up. I am that girl that says things she shouldn’t say and does things everyone else is thinking about but won’t. So now I’m thirty and I want to know who I am, or who I would have been if that didn’t happen. Would I have gone to Berklee and been a Musical Therapist? Would I sing at church? (I don’t sing in front of people anymore.) Would I have waited for him?

That’s my mission for the year. By the time I am thirty-one, I want to know without a shadow of doubt who the hell I am.

SOON TO BE PUBLISHED

2009-06-07T03:56:00.001-07:00

I am happy to announce that Devine Destinies has agreed to publish Emmy's Song! It will be in eBook first and then move on to print after it acquires enough online sales. Thank you to everyone who has taken this journey with me and I look forward to sharing my thoughts with you as an official published author. :)

Hi, Christina,
Emmy's Song is accepted. Fill out the AIF (author information form) and email it to XXX and cc it to XXX. Print and fill out 2 copies of the first and last pages of the contract and mail both copies to the snail mail address on the top of the front page. We will sign and date both copies and send 1 back to you.

When Your Soul is Asleep

2009-06-02T08:37:00.000-07:00

When your soul is asleep, the world passes you by and you miss the details.

When your soul is asleep, the words don’t register and lose their meaning.

When your soul is asleep, your heart shuts down and you forget. Forget how the wind feels on a warm summer day, forger the smell of candy apples in the fall, and candy canes in the winter. Forget how light you can feel when the weight of the world isn’t pushing you further and further down into despair.

Then something changes, the world moves under you, and your soul wakes up. Alone, scared, but awake. Awake feels so good you don’t ever want to go back. You have to change. Inside yourself, twist yourself, because you are forever altered. You see every detail, all the colors of a sunset, all the sounds of the beach. You hear the words and they touch you. You remember the sweet smells of every season and your heart is light again. Alone, but light.

Will you stay awake or allow fear to keep you asleep, missing your life? It’s your choice. Make the right one.

Things that make me happy

2009-05-29T12:41:00.001-07:00

Cameron
Writing
Really good music
Someone singing really good music to me
Tall boys with dark hair
Tall boys with dark hair named Edward ;)
Pretty words
Chocolate Thunder From Down Under (dessert at Outback yummmy)
Andrea
Courtney
Maria
Christopher when he is not pacing
When the Gators win (at anything, football, baseball, lacrosse)
Good dreams (Like the wake up and try to go back to sleep good dreams)
Bags/Purses
A clean house
My kitties
Feeling beautiful

The Third Day

2009-05-27T16:47:00.000-07:00

I have this theory about the third day. The third day of anything you are going through is always the worst. When I had my C-section, third day was the worst, when you are getting over a broken heart, third day is the worst, getting over being sick..you guessed it, the third day is the worst.

The first day is always the best. When you are sick, the first day is not so bad. When you have broken heart the first day is the best because you are usually still mad and that makes it easier to cope.

The second day, things start to go downhill but they are still not at rock bottom. You feel a little worse, your resolve is wavering but you think you can make it.

The third day, everything goes to shit. You feel awful, you can’t stop crying, you’re a mess! Your illness is kicking your butt, you just want to die.

If you can make it past the third day, you can make it! So for everyone on the third day..just hold on. Tomorrow will be better, I promise.

Will You Find Me~ Short Story

2009-05-25T20:30:00.001-07:00

The clouds race past the window of the plane. I usually don’t get the window seat. In fact, I usually do everything I can to avoid the window seat. I hate to fly. The continuous fidgeting, rubbing my hands together, running them through my hair, checking the piece of paper in my hand, is helping to keep the palm sweating at a minimum but I know I’m green. The woman in the seat next to me instinctively moves away, eyeing the barf bag in front of the seat all the while.

It’s worth it. That’s what I keep telling myself. I need to know. I need to see him. I met him a month ago online.

“You have a pretty smile,” he had said.

That was all it took. The connection was instant. His words, the way he said them. I felt like he was the other half of my soul. It was as if we had known each other our entire lives and we had never even actually spoken. He told me he had known me in another life, that it was fate. He told me that he would keep the promise he made to me and that he would always find me. Though I didn’t really believe in reincarnation, I believed him.

The weeks passed and our conversations took a different turn, he started pulling away. Confused and hurt, I asked him why. Was it something I had done?

“No, of course not. I just need some time. We’ll be together soon, I promise.” His words were fresh in my mind.

The plane landed and I began to lose my nerve. What in the world was I going to say? Hi. Nice to see you. I had no idea. I kept telling myself that he just changed his mind. Folks were entitled to change their minds. I looked at the piece of paper I was cluthing in my hand for the hundredth time. I didn’t have any luggage, just a carry on bag. I walked up to the first cab I saw outside the airport and gave him the address.

It was a short trip, not nearly long enough for me to decide what to say. I handed the cabdriver a fifty dollar bill and asked him to wait. I was sure it wouldn’t take long for him to tell me to get lost, that I wasn’t who he thought I was after all.

A woman answerers the doorbell and my heart drops. He was married.

“Yes, can I help you?” She asks in a friendly voice.

Perfect. “Yes, I’m sorry; I may have the wrong house. Is Tom here?”

Her face falls and she swings the door wide open. “Why would you ask that? Why would you come here and ask that? Is this some kind of sick joke?”

Confused, I start to apologize, certain now that I did in fact have the wrong house. “I’m very sorry. This must be the wrong house. I’m looking for Tom Davis.”

She starts to weep. She slams the door in my face and I am too shocked to move. I finally turn and make my way back to the cab. I am shaking uncontrollably when I slip in the backseat and ask the driver to take me back to the airport. This was a mistake.

He turns to look at me then. “Hey lady, I don’t know who you are and I don’t usually get involved in these things but that woman has been through enough. Just leave it alone, okay.”

“I have no idea what you are talking about. I was coming to meet a friend and I must have the wrong address.”

“You asked her where Tom was.”

“Yes, that’s my friend. See I met him online and I wanted to surprise him…”
“Lady, Tom’s dead.”

“What are you talking about?” I wanted to hit him. What the hell was wrong with everyone? I just talked to him last week.

“Tom Davis died in a car accident two weeks ago. That was his mother. Geez lady.” He turned back to the wheel.

“Wait. Can you take me to the graveyard? Please? PLEASE?” I was in full blown hysterics. The nausea that I felt on the plane came back with an intensity I couldn’t fight.

We drive to a small Catholic Church and park near a small graveyard. I open the door and begin to run. I know where to go. I don’t know how but I know where to go. I fall next to his grave. The date was there, etched in stone. Two weeks had passed since he had been buried. One week had passed since his last email.

I just need some time. Those had been the last words he typed me. Time for what? I feel like I am losing my mind. My heart starts to hurt. My chest is on fire and I can’t breathe. Lightning courses down my left hand and my arm loses all feeling. I collapse face first into the dirt. There by his grave, I died.

The light was bright. He was there with me. Stephan, Collin, Christopher, Dylan, and most recently Thomas. We held each other for the few brief moments we had.

“Will you find me?” I ask him.

“I always do my love, I always do.”

I held his hand while the fates pulled us in different directions. Yes, he would find me.

It's a New Day

2009-05-21T06:09:00.000-07:00

As I reflect on my life, which I have been doing a lot these days, I come to a few realizations.

1) It aint that bad. Actually it’s pretty good. I have a good job, great kid, better than the rest step-daughter and a hard working husband. Yes, we’ve been married FOREVER and yes, we probably got married too young but at the end of the day, he’s perfect for me. He’s not the man in my book, but he’s the man in my life. And speaking of my books, even if they never get published, they are my outlet and I love writing them.
2) It is what I make it. I can wake up and decide to be happy or decide to be sad. A positive attitude really goes along way. “I count my blessings, instead of sheep…” and the world is a little brighter, the music is a little louder and my ass is a little smaller. Okay, well, maybe not that last one! ;)
3) I am ME. And if there’s one thing I know, it’s that there isn’t anyone else like me. I am honest, loud, and a little crazy. I’m tenacious, emotional, and full of fun adjectives to describe however I may be feeling at the moment. I like me. And most folks I meet do too.

AND FINALLY

4) The show must go on. No matter how I feel, life is going to keep right on going. I still have to take care of my family, go to work, and breathe so I might as well make the best of it. As I previously stated, you only get one shot at this whole life thing and I would rather say, “Why did I do that” than “Why DIDN’T I do that.”

Smile~

2009-05-19T09:02:00.001-07:00

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though its breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

A "YES"

2009-05-18T10:47:00.000-07:00

Christina,

I am very interested in Emmy's Song and would like to see the full manuscript. You mentioned this being a three-part series, but is each book the same basic length? May I see all three parts or is only part one ready? I definitely need to see the complete part one even if parts two and three are not ready.

I'm attaching our suggested guidelines so you can see what we prefer in a manuscript.

***FINGERS CROSSED***

2009-05-18T09:23:00.000-07:00

Yes, there are some posts missing. I am pretending like the last few weeks in my life didn’t happen.

Fate...

2009-05-11T11:32:00.000-07:00

What if the person you were meant to be with was born miles away from you, years behind or ahead of you? Would you still find each other? Would that love be strong enough to bend space and time and allow you to be with the one person you were meant to be with? I think it would.